Another young person has been thrown out of his home for coming out as gay. I have written about this on a number of occasions covering such events in the United States, Nigeria and Uganda.
This time the event was recorded. Trying to imagine the evil some people can impart on their children is no longer necessary. Now we can hear them in their own self righteous voices
It started when the family called 20 year old Daniel Pierce to an “intervention.” He left his phone recorder going during the confrontation and was later posted online as “How not to react when your child tells you he is gay.” It has gone viral. In the video, Daniel , explains to what sounds like his mother, step-mother and father that he is gay. The choices this set of parents makes as a reaction are almost as bad as they possibly could be.
His mother makes a statement at the outset that becomes increasingly shocking as the video proceeds and the parenting adults collectively verbally attack and physically abuse the young man. The mother’s statement is “I have known since you were a young boy that you were gay.” If there was ever clear pointed evidence that Daniel was “born that way”, her comment would be it.
She knows who her child is, yet due to her own personal agenda she pretends he is making a choice and coldly rejects him as a result.
This is my open letter to Daniel’s parents.
To Daniel’s family:
Now you know.
You have handled this badly. I don’t know you, and I don’t know of what you are capable, good or bad. I hope that there are better people within each one of you than those displayed on that video.
I am a parent as you are. For me, contributing to my sons’ welfare, personal joy and life success is my purpose and mission in this world. I hope that somehow in your own warped way, that you want that for Daniel. I have written to children killed by parents who feared they might grow up as gay, and I can’t be sure those aren’t individuals who share your mindset.
To Daniel’s dad: I hear great frustration of not being thanked for having provided the food and “roof over the head” of a child for twenty years. Accomplishing that is no small feat- I have two sons, 11 and 12, and I provide for them. I have to. I will not get thanked for it. It’s cool, it is the gig I signed up for. Part of being a parent is being your child’s oxygen. They need us to survive, but they do not thank us as they take each breath. We just have to provide for them, because being a parent means you do that.
We seek to inspire our children to be the best they can be, and to do that, we have to know who they are. You all now know Daniel .
Choice is relevant here, but not for Daniel. It is for you. You are choosing only to accept him if he is as you want him to be, rather than who he really is. Instead of embracing this child that you nurtured through life, you cling to a bastardized concept of “the word of God” that has turned a religious practice into an exercise of superstition.
Where exactly you get this religious mandate is itself a mystery. The Bible does not define itself as being “the word of God”. It defines Jesus, and Jesus alone as being “The Word”. Jesus never once claims that gay people choose to be gay. The Bible directs us to the covenant of God, under Jesus, as written on one’s own HEART and HIS MIND (Hebrews 8). I believe that Daniel DID ask God, and God wrote back on Daniel’s heart and mind, “I made you gay.” God generally does not cc others so, you getting a copy of that directive is unlikely. That is what the Bible says and you can choose to believe it if you want.
To Daniel’s mom: At the beginning of the recording you tell him you love him. He says he believes you. I don’t believe you.
For me, my sons come first—before my dogma, before my standing in the local community, before anything. If I was Abraham in the desert and Jason and Jesse were strapped to a stone slab, and a big voice in the sky was telling me to make a sacrifice of them to Him, I would turn to the heavens and say “Screw you.”
That’s how monumental my kids are to me—they are beyond biblical proportions of importance. All the real parents I know feel the same about their kids.
Daniel has very little choice here. He is who he is, and now thanks to your rejection, he will do what he has to in order to survive. Our community will come around him, love him support him. He will be our son now and we will give him healthy alternatives. Many in his situation do not get that chance. They end up on the street and within weeks are surviving through less than savory means. We will watch Daniel, and encourage him to grow. We will give him hope for his life, and a vision for an inspiring purpose. That purpose for him may or may not include a family of his own. We will show him how to find joy and fulfillment, and he will do it without you. Unlike you, we will let him know he can be his authentic true self.
Your choices are important ones that will affect the rest of your lives. Rejecting is a choice. Not caring for Daniel is a choice. Saving your face in the community over the well being of your son is a choice. What is your best possible choice? That would be a sincere re-evaluation of your priorities, bringing him home, and working towards a level of acceptance.
Whatever you choose, it will define you forever. You will either be defined as the people who worked to grow as parents, or the people who should never have been parents in the first place.
If you do have any love in you at all, it will fester and one day you will find yourself sitting upright in bed, having a better educated sense about the nature of the true God, and realize that you have made a horrific and terrible mistake. One that, at that point, you may not be able to fix.
You may truly be cold loveless shells. Certainly, it appears that one or more of you deserves to be in jail right now for assault. Instead of looking for healing, you may launch into a further tirade of homophobia and tell us about the vengeful God that you emulate.
You will not need to preach to us about hell, however. We will see it in your eyes.
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Pingback: Directly Into the Face of Hatred – Gays With Kids
I get sad when I see something like what happened on the video and the comments end up on a religious discussion. I learned, with difficulty, that God if there is one, is Love. He loved us, he told us to love each other, but the main message at least to me is love. So God as nothing to do with whats going on here. If he has anything to do is the freewill he gave us humans, and these parents can only blame themselves for the choices they made and make, it’s their choice not to love, not to accept, not to respect, it’s a human thing not a divine thing. And it’s just them choosing to be a worst kind of people. It’s all on them. Jesus’s best friend was a prostitute, would he mind being friends with or loving a gay man or woman? No! Even if didn’t agree or condone, he would never choose not to love or respect. It’s not God it’s people.
I hope the boy finds love in his life, I hope he will find people that are good and respectful I hope he loves himself, I hope and can only hope that he discovers that friends are the family we choose. And we can choose!
And to add http://lgbtfeed.com/post/a_gay_teen_disowned_by_his_parents_using_he_raised_for_lgbtq_shelter he is already an amazing young man, who’s given back, I hope he continues on his current path, he is tribute to himself so it seems. ‘A flower starts as a seed it struggles it’s way through darkness, it continues to grow, slowly over months, it breaks the surface of the darkness to continue flourishing, until it opens into a beautiful flower for the world to see’. Don’t ever give up . You are special, and unique. And for those who say they have the right since he’s 18… The question should be, ‘How could anyone have the heart to do it?’ Take care of yourselves and thank you for the post Rob x
My children come with my love and support no matter their age. It’s not a case of, ‘Right we don’t agree/don’t like it/ it goes against what’s believed under our roof/ or we feel. So your life is going to be so tense from now, you’ll want to go’. You see, it doesn’t matter. Even if we do disagree, (That’s the way of the world, no two people can agree all of the time). I wont make/allow living under our roof intolerable, uncomfortable, or abusive in any sense of the words for any of us living here, (I’m 36, and currently have my 19 year old daughter and my 6 month old grandson living with us). As human beings we should have the ability to communicate, the grounds to compromise, and I feel as an adult if it’s not solved after that we have the ability to ‘agree to disagree’. Because, family is family. And if my children need me, even if they’re 18, 20, 30, 40.. it doesn’t matter. I’m here for them for as long as I breathe. Because in my mind, I became a parent for life, not for as long as it may suit.
I love your response. I am a gay father of 2 teenage boys. I was married. Coming out to them was the hardest thing to do. Thankfully they understood and accepted it immediately. My parents did as well. It was the hardest thing to accept and to do at 45 years old and I am grateful for all the love and support I received. Knowing how difficult my coming out was for me internally I cannot possibly imagine how this teenager feels.
Since I have children, I agree with everything you say. Their well being is always top priority for me. I would go to the ends for them, do whatever for them. My job is to raise them so that they can be adults and achieve anything and everything they want out of life. Thankfully they are great kids and being a parent is difficult but it is also the most rewarding job. Hopefully these parents will come to understand that “loosing” their son is much much worse then accepting him and loving him.
Someone has realized of disrespectful, rude and spoiled to it was this young man. Or just prefer to listen to a part of the story. Is the young man bringing something to the House? In my house I put the rules, and if do not like to be lets go, and if it is missing me respect, I make to swallows his teeth. Today everybody want to sell a story of “tolerance”, where you have to let that respect for lack why, are things of youth?
Let us pray that you NEVER have children, if you think an appropriate response is to make your child swallow his teeth. You may imagine yourself to be a tin god, but you are not god, you’re not even tin.
Just some guy with issues.
You can’t even write a proper sentence that makes any sense! Go back to school you fool!
Was that supposed to be English?
So, in you warped mind, defending yourself and stating your case is being disrespectful and rude? And where in the video did you figure he was SPOILED when he was actually THROWN OUT of the house? Do you know the meaning of the word “intervention”? The parents actually called him in to talk to him. Again, how is that being disrespectful? Gays are not hurting anyone, why should you be bothered by them? Where is your anger towards pedophiles, wife beaters, murderers? Why pick on gays?
I haven’t watched the video, but I did read this person’s letter, and while the maltreatment of others is contrary to Jesus’ mandate to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39), the writer of the letter makes a gross error in suggesting that God made this man’s son gay. Homosexual behavior is condemned as contrary to God’s will not only in the Old Testament (Leviticus 18:22), but also in the New Testament (Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). We are then told in James 1:13 that God does not tempt people to do evil. This brings us a logical syllogism:
1.) Homosexual behavior is Biblically defined as sinful
2.) God does not tempt people to sin
3.) Therefor, God does not make people gay
This does not mean people don’t feel an innate inclination or urge for homosexual behavior, only that these desires do not come from God. It is a fundamental error the LGBTQ community makes: suggesting that because a desire is innate, it must be morally good. We would never accept this argument to justify any other behavior. A man with a bad temper or with a disposition for violence can’t simply say “I was born this way” to excuse his behavior. True, such behavior is harmful to himself or others, and we would condemn his behavior on those grounds, but notice what just happened: we changed the argument for justifying behavior. We went from “If you were born with these feelings, it’s okay to act on them” to “you can only act on feelings if they don’t hurt someone, regardless of whether or not you were born with them.” Those are two completely separate arguments and the contrast highlights that we really don’t buy the “born this way” argument for justifying behavior. The innateness of a feeling has no bearing on its moral value or divine approval, especially if we consider the biblical description of our world being fallen and corrupt.
Hi Brace, The fact that you have not watched the video but want to come and make proclamations speaks to your agenda. Your interpretation is flawed. You do not answer to the fact that the Bible does not call itself “God’s Law”, so whatever your interpretations, that is a key factor. As it happens, you pull “traditional” quotes, that are taken out of their interpretive, cultural and historical contexts to determine that “homosexual behavior is biblically defined as sinful”. If you follow the passages you cite and understood them you would see the first instance is exactly on par with the “sin” of eating lobster, which appears a few passages before –and both are described as “ritually unclean”. The other passages refer to idol worship and temple prostitution.
The biggest flaw is in your own comment “We would never accept this argument to justify any other behavior.” Your “sin” of homosexuality IS completely unique because it does NOT have to do with what the person feels, or what the person does. It has to do with who the person IS. If you consider that “a bad temper” or “prone ti violence” is a sin, then you consider it that way whether it is within a man or a woman. In homosexuality if Chris is a man and Susan falls in love and wants to marry and be with him her whole life, that is A OK with YOU. But if Chris is a woman and Susan has the exact same feelings– you say she is sinning. There is no biblical principle there, or sinful acts.
You don’t believe that people are “born that way” because of any empirical evidence, you do so for one reason alone– to not disturb your belief system and all that you have been told is true. The fact that you did not watch the video also shows how fearful you are of your dogma being challenged. That is sad for you– I sincerely hope you open your mind to think things through on a broader level.
This is what happens when you don’t watch or read the subject matter which you claim to discuss, and don’t bother to actually think about what you write, don’t actually read or understand the bible you quote from, but still presume to speak for god, and have plenty of opinions about truth, but no actual truth yourself about people you don’t know, know nothing about, but despise anyway because you, uhhhh, can’t be bothered to think.
And of course, empathy and compassion are just too much to handle, especially when you can over-identify with God and thus dispense with both.
Had you watched the video, you would find the boy’s mother saying that she always knew he was gay from an early age. If you bothered to know any gay people, you would also know that many of us were quite aware from an early age– three for myself– that we were gay, though we didn’t know what to call it or what it meant. But we knew.
But that’s ok, because your ignorance allows you to simultaneously claim that no one is born gay, people are born gay, and that it is innate, but not put there by your particular, peculiar version of god.
you know, the version of god that just happens to agree with YOU.
But let’s take your little syllogism and actually apply some fact and logic to it.
1.) Homosexual behavior is Biblically defined as sinful.
Something, which may or may not be homosexuality, or may have something to do with it–though it might be one, particular act, or might not be– at least for men, at least as it MIGHT have been understood by people 2000-3000 years, five thousand miles, and a world of culture, language, custom, faith, morals, and knowledge away from us, is defined as sinful. But you really cannot bring tired old leviticus into it, because as rob points out, eating lobster is also an abomination. But of course, THAT doesn’t count, because you like lobster. you don’t like gay people. (Please spare me your protestations of love. I don’t believe it, and neither should you).
2.) God does not tempt people to sin. Obviously, you’ve never read Job. Or understood Abraham nearly murdering Isaac. Or telling our first parents “Don’t touch that fruit.” And you missed the part of romans where God turns heterosexual people into homosexuals as a punishment for idolatry. And if, like to many of your ilk, you insist that god merely brought out their latent homolust, then you are simply admitting what you already denied.
3.) Therefore, God does not make people gay. Even the Mormon and catholic Churches, no friends to either gay people or rationality, don’t agree with that. And of course, the many churches and synagogues, ministers, and whole denominations that don’t mistake their local prejudices for God’s word also don’t agree with that. nor does nearly every ,medical, scientific, and social research organization in the entire civilized world agree with that. Nor does the testimony of millions of gay people, whether Christian or not, agree with that. Nor do the testimonies of actually religious people who have prayed religiously on the subject, and found the local prejudice to be severely lacking in any divine qualities, agree with that.
In fact, People Like You, waving their bibles and their certainties about god’s word, burned witches, enslaved others, murdered alleged heretics, and justified segregation as God’s Holy Word. In fact, what they have concluded, after much prayer, is that god’s word is exactly what a certain class of so-called Christian, intent on harming people they don’t know and know nothing about, use to justify what cannot be justified by any other means.
In fact, God’s word didn’t change, WE DID. We became much better than People Like You, as we abandoned the superstitions of witch burning, the heretically absurd idea that anyone could be a heretic, the horrific cancer of slavery, and institutionalized prejudice.
Interestingly enough– but not surprisingly, because you didn’t bother to watch the video or attempt to understand something you would prefer not to understand– you made no mention of the fact that the boy’s parents are divorced, and at least Dad is remarried. A complete no-no, according to the word of Your Peculiar God. But I’m sure that’s ok with you, because hey, you don’t despise and condemn heterosexuals and their sins.
and you can’t be bothered to think, to empathize, to feel compassion, to rise above your prejudices.
I just do not know how anyone can say it any better. PERIOD ! ! !
Ben – I miss the old days at TWO…
Well said. I have a smigeon of empathy for Brace because not long ago, like a bad drug-induced nightmare, I used to believe the same as him. But of course now i clearly understand it was due to the years of conditioning and reinforcement of my own self-loathing. I once was lost, but now am found. I have to wonder if our buddy Brace realizes trolling blogs like this accomplishes absolutely nothing other than perhaps allow him a twisted sense of satisfaction that he got to “beat up on those awful gay people”. Sad to think his efforts are not only misguided and theologically wrong, but the net result of his and similar missives bear zero fruit “like a clanging symbol”. But rest assured, Brace will need to “brace” himself in the next few years as he observes full LGBT equality, everything he despises, become the law – and culture – of our land. How tragic for him and millions of other misguided Pharisees.
I, too, miss TWO. I sharpened a lot of my thinking there,
I’m glad you have found yourself. It’s a much better place to be in. But I’m not sure who you are, or what name you posted under at TWO. I’d like to see if I remember you.
As for Brace, he needs one for his morals, his faith, and his intellect. All are sadly lacking. I’m sure he’s writing for the reason you posit, just as I am willing to bet that there is more than one gay skeleton his closet. I am increasingly convinced that the bulk of our opposition comes not from “sincere religious belief”– as if that we any kind of an excuse– or from the need to earn a living– as if THAT were any kind of excuse– but from homo-hating-homo’s. The obsession over THIS alleged sin, while ignoring all of the rest of the world’s sins– especially the sin of not believing that jesus died for your sins– argues to me that the stake is personal, not theological.
But the braces of the world do serve a purpose. They show the intellectual, moral, religious, spiritual and humane poverty and laziness that animates and motivates the theocrazies. I truly believe that many of the people who read these posts are not commenting, but thinking. And what they are thinking is that the braces of the world don’t make a lot of sense.
As my very wise, highly enlightened, and TRULY Christian (cares for all, helps whenever she can, does not discriminate, is concerned for the health and well-being of all people regardless of their race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation because she has read the Bible and sees it as a directive to love all of God’s creations) 100-year-old Grandmother always says “Let go, and let God.” Meaning, if God truly takes issue with people falling in love with people of the same gender (hint: love is a gift from God, so it makes no sense that God would actually be against this), it is between individuals and God.
I’m pretty sure that God would be far more distressed by people physically and emotionally harming their own children than said children being inclined to love.
As others have said, most of the people who quote the Bible for proof against homosexuality do not follow the other rules, regarding fabric, food, tattoos, etc…
All of these hateful, judgmental, violent, cruel people who claim to be Christians need to remember that, if they truly live by the word of the Bible, they can’t approach it cafeteria-style.
im not trying to star stuff but the bible its self has been changed so many times its noteven funny theres no telling what it really said before people messed with it i think that the gods and goddesses mad us the way we are perfect in our imperfections
Actually Brace, you are WRONG! You are making certain assumptions about the bible based on what you have been fed. If you study and read into the passages you will realize that all is not what it seems. There are a couple of ways that I could go with this argument, 1st and most importantly Jesus Christ, my lord and savior, who died on the cross for my sins, NEVER said one word about homosexuality. NOT ONE. He was perfect. The people who wrote and translated the bible were not, thus there are SO MANY contradictions in the bible, even as soon as the first page of Genesis, there are 2 different creation stories. Men (People) are human and err, God and Jesus were divine and do not.
2nd, God made me and Jesus loves me JUST AS I AM, and YOU don’t get to sit in judgment for God and decide what is sinful and what is not.
3rd, You are picking and choosing the condemning points in the bible while ignoring the parts that would turn the condemnation on you, Have you played football? I will save you a seat in Hell! Have you ever worn clothing of mix cloth (polly-cotton blend) Well there is an abomination! Have you ever cut your hair? Satan danced! Have you put a price on the maiden head of your daughter or had sex out of wedlock? If so, the woman must be stoned! If you have a brother who died without having a male heir, you are called, by the bible, to marry your brothers widow and try to produce a male heir with her. Have you ever eaten shell fish or worked on Sunday? It’s getting warm isn’t it? Let’s face it, we have ALL sinned and come short of the glory of God, but you, my friend are NO BETTER! Don’t throw stones or you will be walking on broken glass, and as for God not making Gay people, WHO MADE THEM THEN??? God also made cancer. Cancer SUCKS, but being gay is a crime of love! Seriously, that is what you are condemning us of, loving someone. In the world of rape culture, school shootings, wars and uprisings, terrorist, starving children and lecherous priests, you choose to call out LOVE as a sin? YOU need to re-evaluate your priorities and get a grip! I will pray that God will open your heart and mind to the love in the world and pray that you will find the truth in the gospel which is “Love the Lord with all your heart and mind and soul, and love one another as I have loved you” THAT is the word of Christ!
I have to say as someone who actually went through the coming out to parents deal.. this isn’t that shocking.. infact it seems kinda fake or rigged.. the parents knew since October til now to have an intervention? He just happened to take his phone and knew about the intervention? This money funding thing was started by his (boyfriend i assume) immediatly after (why isnt the friend supporting?) Idk.. if its real, it sucks but its not that shocking, I think it happens to 99% of gays when coming out.. As a gay man myself, I have to say, it all seems a little over-played, over-done.. and like we’re making a big deal out of something that probably happens every day. bottom line, Daniel is not in any danger, is away from family, is getting funded and has more support than he could dream, started a viral video and is getting support through pity.. Interesting that he posted that right after the fight too, that would be the last thing on my mind.
If it is real, sorry, life sucks sometimes, some religious people dont get it, and family? blood is thicker than water, but more easily tainted =/ I’m not close with mine either, but that doesnt really give you the right to all this support because you posted a video purposefully to get pity, it makes me pity you less, you need to grow up and be an adult, leave if theyre gonna be like that, dont post some crap pity vid, that makes you just as low as them. Just leave, start your life, your young, 20 i think? i’m 100% physically disabled from a neurological disability and got out at 18 ASAP so..
And if i’m right and its not real? You have alot of guts to play off of some REALLY emotional parts of life, and I honestly hope you dont get caught cuz well.. I wouldnt want to be in your shoes after you’ve drawn so much attention to yourself
The only thing worse than this homophobic, dysfunctional family is a judgmental, angry (also gay) individual who seems to be wallowing in his own self pity. Even if his presentation is over dramatic, this is his perception of the situation and until otherwise resolved he should be supported by those who have gone through similar family dynamics. To say that all he is doing by posting the video is seeking pity and money is apprehensible, I know from experience that a physical disability is no walk in the park, but your cynical thinking may be more of a handicap. I support you in the difficulties you have overcome and will most likely continue to face. I hope that something wonderful, no matter how small, brighten your day and bring you joy, and that God bless you with the strength to face what crosses your path.
I THINK THESE PARENTS ARE TERRIBLE HOW CAN THEY DISOWN THEIR OWN CHILD THEY NEED HELP I FEEL REALLY BAD FOR THIS BOY
Oh, and I forgot to mention that one day these trogdolites so called parents will be old and frail, and if they do have any kids of the straight trend will provably look upon the gay son to look after them. They will bite their tongue. I’ve seen it all first hand.
Hey! I resemble that remark..
I’m glad you do. ♡♡♡♡
What do you have against troglodytes?
Nothing really. Every creature has a role to play in this world, but at times troglodytes don’t let others play their role and like to impose themselves on others. The playground is very big and there is plenty of space for us all to be who we are.
but….but…but…the Bibble! and GAWD! and Ickeeeeeeeeeeeee.
😉
Shocking. Bastard parents should be prosecuted for ganging up and attacking an innocent and vulnrs young person. They don’t deserve to be called parents. They don’t deserve to be called people. They don’t deserve to be called human. I hope the boy left the family and disowned them. They must learn to respect life, and may God have mercy on these parents souls for one day they will face judgement not for theewords they told but for the simple thought and action that abused the very own DNA coming off them.
This young man did nothing wrong. If they choose not to accept their son–their loss. BTW–God made us and he knew us before he made us and loves us for who and what we are because HE made us who and what we are. God DID NOT write the Bible–man did. Those “laws” in the Bible come from man.
What makes me sad is all he did was state that he was gay. He wasn’t dating he wasn’t blatantly having sex and fyi Chocolate vent I know many many many Hetero kids in christian households going out getting pregnant at 18 and or younger before marriage and are still fully embraced by their CHRISTIAN FAMILIES because of the forgiveness. This isn’t a religious beliefs thing this is an unadulterated hate thing. If you believe it stems from religion then you are a part of what is wrong with the world. The End. “This child of God is more than his sexuality”
Ironically the name Daniel means: “God Is My Judge”.
I HADN’T THOUGHT OF THAT ONE BUT IT DOES. GQQD OBSERVATION
I’m both heterosexual and a mother to a 3yo son. I’m also a counsellor, currently working with young people. I find the actions and words of these so-called parents (biological or not) absolutely abhorrent. Love is unconditional. Putting a roof over your child’s head is a parental responsibility. The physical abuse will heal far more quickly than the emotional abuse this young person has undergone. I really hope he gets the support he needs and hope he knows that there is a diversity of people out there who will support and cherish him and his choices.
You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. His parents belong on an episode of Maury. What would Jesus do, you fucktards?
I must be missing something here…..the parents have certain beliefs & the son doesn’t fit into those beliefs, so why are the parents wrong for enforcing their beliefs in their own home?
I do take issue with how the parents handled the situation but I see nothing wrong with them “kicking their son out” (which it doesn’t sound like they did, he offered). If an adult-child is doing something that you don’t permit or agree with, as a parent you are under NO obligation to continue to feed, house & clothe an ADULT CHILD.
No one may agree with why they are letting him go, but I see nothing wrong with them enforcing their beliefs – that is their right to do so within their own home. If someone doesn’t agree with that, then that’s when they SHOULD leave anyway.
OK I understand if the child was doing drugs or stealing or breaking the law (even then put them in rehab), but to kick them out because they are homosexual? Wow. You’re no better then these parents. Let’s hope you never have kids and if you do then let’s hope they get taken away. A parent is supposed to love their kids no matter what! A parent is supposed to support their kids in what they chose in life (depending on what they choose.) Their religion/beliefs shouldn’t matter. Their kid is an adult and they had no right to push their crappy religion/beliefs down their kids throat! This is exactly why non Christians hate Christians.
Where in the dictionary does it say that love EQUALS support? Do the mothers of convicted rapists still love them? Yes, but they don’t support them. You can love someone from a distance and not support them.
You just wrote yourself “A parent is supposed to support their kids in what they chose in life (depending on what they choose)”. That’s what YOU wrote! So, who are you to tell the parents what they should & should not support?
And religious beliefs do matter. If you don’t stand up for what you believe in, what good is it to believe in it at all? His parents have EVERY right to run THEIR household how they see fit. If he doesn’t like, he has EVERY right to leave. Since when can someone not choose who they want to live in their very own house?
If a non-Christian wants to hate a Christian, that’s fine. But I dare you to still support someone that has raped or murdered your mother or your child. Jesus loves ALL, but He still condemns those who do wrong. Loving is different than supporting, my friend.
The fact that you are comparing this young man who has done nothing wrong to convicted rapists, and to people who have raped or murdered your mother or child, indicates that you are quickly losing any sense of perspective.
I don’t recall Jesus condemning anyone. Huh. Guess you know better than religious scholars.
I guess you haven’t read the Bible then.
The most blatant example of Jesus condemning is when He went through the temple in Jerusalem angrily overturning tables because of their blatant disrespect for the House of God. (in the book of Matthew)
Chocolate Vent I guess you missed these Scriptures huh?Matthew 7:1-5 ESV / 2,809 helpful votes
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Luke 6:37 ESV / 2,079 helpful votes
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
John 7:24 ESV / 1,646 helpful votes
Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”
James 4:11-12 ESV / 1,189 helpful votes
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 4:12 ESV / 1,137 helpful votes
There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
Romans 2:1-3 ESV / 740 helpful votes
Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?
Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 642 helpful votes
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Romans 14:1-13 ESV / 572 helpful votes
As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day as better than another, while another esteems all days alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. http://www.openbible.info/topics/judging_others
The thing is is that this young man is Not a rapist. So comparing the 2 is invalid. But of course you probably think that homosexuality raised oenophiles or beastiality or rape. Typical.
Who are you to tell the parents not support their kids?
Someone can still follow their beliefs without being as hateful as these parents were. It’s called respect and love one another as thyself. So beating how their kid and kicking him out because he’s homosexual is OK? Wow. You are no better then they are.
I never said I support someone that has raped or murdered my mother or your child.
Jesus loves ALL, but He still condemns those who do wrong? Lol. What kind of love is that? Love and obey me or be condemned to hell. Sounds so much like love. Not. Sounds lime an attention whore to me. By the way, of this young man got a job while under his parents epoch would it still be them supporting him?
So now it sounds like you’re judging me. (which it doesn’t really matter to me, but you should be mindful of what you type about OTHER people as you accuse them of doing the same thing)
Clearly you missed the example I set out. I’m not comparing him to a rapist, what I’m saying is that love & support are 2 DIFFERENT things – it doesn’t matter what the “crime” or action is. My parents may not support who I marry, but they still love me (is that easier for you to understand?)
I’m not telling the parents not to support their child – what I’m saying is they should be allowed to do what they want in their own home. Of course the beating & foul language was inappropriate but it IS their house. He has the right to leave if he doesn’t like it.
Jesus does love us ALL and part of love is punishment/chastising. Did your parents not punish you when you did wrong, even though they love you? That’s how Jesus is – if you love & obey Him and follow His Word you get to “live happily ever after”. But if you don’t then yes, there are consequences – here on Earth & after death (going to hell). I don’t understand why people don’t get this – is that not how parents treat their children? Do bad, you get in trouble but if you do good, your parents are pleased. No matter what, they STILL love you. That’s EXACTLY how Jesus is.
And yes, if he got a job but lived at home his parents would still be supporting him. That is unless he pays FULL rent, a security deposit, utilities, groceries, cable, etc. (which most kids living at home DO NOT)
Wow… Chocolate vent you seriously need to think about what you wrote and re-evaluate your beliefs. I am disgusted that you would compare a convicted rapist to a gay young man. Just disgusting…that’s WRONG and unfair. There is absolutely nothing wrong, harmful, dangerous, criminal about being gay. You do not harm ANYONE by being gay. These parents, however, DID engage in harmful, dangerous behavior. Both physically and emotionally. If this is truly how they feel and their “beliefs”, then they never should have become parents. They are not equipped to provide or support a child. Their “beliefs” may be their choice, but that doesn’t make them right or okay. I sincerely hope one day they will realize the error of their ways and choose, instead, to come from a place of kindness, acceptance, tolerance and support. These people certainly are not Christian or godly people. Last time I checked, Jesus was all about acceptance and love. FOR ALL. These people are a$$holes and I’m sorry this kid had to end up in this dispicable family. Thankfully, there are a lot of people who will rally around him, show him what family and love truly is, and get him out such bigotry and hate. Something tells me this kid already knows how backwards his family is and that the rest of the world is living in 2014 and ready to accept him fully. I hope you’ll take a moment to reconsider what you wrote. There is no excuse or rational that excuses the behavior of these parents. Mask it in religion all you want, but that’s just a cop out. I don’t know of any god that would condone their behavior.
Actually the grandmother said “you have yo move out and find someplace else to stay. We will no longer support you and you can do whatever you want.” Did you even listen?
Uh yeah, but the VOLUNTEERED to move to the basement, to which she agreed.
It’s funny how people want to tell the parents what they should & should not do in their own household.
I have no dog in this fight; in other words, it’s not my house & it doesn’t affect me either way but since it was publicized then I have chosen to leave a comment. His parents have EVERY right to run THEIR household how they see fit. If he doesn’t like, he has EVERY right to leave.
Plain & simple
You seem to not comprehend the statements in the video, which is fine, but for your information, they are these: She told him he was being cut out, unsupported. He asked about what date, to which he agreed. He asked to live in her basement to which she REFUSED.
Something “not affecting you” comes as no surprise based on your posts here. Thanks.
I’m glad you took the time to read my posts 🙂
If he’s over 18 he shouldn’t be living in his mother’s basement anyway. It’s funny how “adults” want to act grown & make decisions without wanting to pay the consequences. He should’ve known his parents would object and likely kick him out of THEIR house. That being said, he should have made provisions to move out already.
Clearly, he wasn’t prepared.
WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT ” IT DOESN’T EITHER WAY ” WELL MY FRIEND I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU…… IT ALREADY HAS. I’LL JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT.
Hi Chocolate Vent,
Thank you for sharing your viewpoint. I have to agree with you, I do believe that you are missing something here. No one is suggesting that the parents by having their 20 year old son leave are violating some legal “obligation” (your word).
What you are missing from what you share, is what I would want to see in the core persona of another parent. I agree, you do not seem to understand what that quality is. Here is what it is not: it is not having a list of qualities that you consider “against your beliefs” that require immediate expulsion from your care. If you believe the child should be meek as the Beatitudes say, and he is rambunctious– yes, there are legal ways you can turn him over to authorities and adopt him out. I will still consider you a disgusting human being and abhorrent as a parent. To nurture a child his whole life and create a sense of self worth in him and then to be completely unfeeling as you rip all your love and security from him in an instant is about as evil as one can be in my book.
What you seem to be missing are two things: a heart, and a soul. But you are right, no one ever should have legal action taken against them for that deficiency. When you use your fist, as these parents did, then you deserved to be locked up. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.
I am missing a heart & a soul?! Wow, I didn’t know people could breath & type & read a messages without a heart beating inside of them. I guess you learn something new everyday….
But I digress, you certainly are entitled to your opinion, as I am to mine. I think it’s a shame that people are standing up so strongly for something but DEFY the parents when they choose to do the same. How can you not see that you are a walking contradiction?
Putting someone out of your home (an adult, mind you) does not make you heartless. It simply means that you are exercising your right to stand up for your beliefs, just as their son is standing up for his.
Chocolate Vent your and idiot and just do not get it. Please never have children. And if you already do God help them.
Chocolate Vent do you have kids? If so how many?
I’m in my early-30’s, no kids (never been pregnant) and have ZERO desire to have children.
Lucky for them.
When your beliefs become more important than your child, then you have a problem. When your beliefs make you hate a certain demographic, in this case homosexuals, then you have a problem.
When your beliefs make you physically and verbally attack your own child, then you have a problem.
There is no excuse for how this boy’s “family” treated him.
I don’t agree. No one’s beliefs MAKE them do anything. That’s on that individual person. Unless there is a gun to their head, they choose to curse, murder, slander, etc. on their own. Not saying any of that is right, but no one can “blame” religion for their poor choices.
I do believe that people’s belief systems should be more important than their children. God trumps family any day, and it’s a shame if people feel otherwise. IF someone truly believes in God, heaven & hell then they know that family should only come first AFTER God. (Plus that’s what the Bible says)
If people don’t truly believe in God, then this is a non-issue and they will continue to believe just as you do.
The mother says on the recording that she is choosing to live by God’s word and doesn’t want him under her roof. She is using religion as a basis for her decision and actions. Do you really think if she wasn’t religious or was an atheist that she would still be living by God’s word?
As for your beliefs trumping your family… If your church leader told you to harm your child, claiming that God wanted you to do it to prove your faith, would you do it? How does your family feel knowing that they aren’t your number one priority?
Maybe I don’t understand because I’m not a religious person. I don’t know if there is a God or not. I respect others people’s choice to have that belief. But I will always choose my family over everything else. My family knows that I will always be there for them and no belief system would ever trump that.
I see. Well since we don’t believe in the same thing, there really is no point in discussing it.
I have no intentions or desire to change your mind about things, just so much as a Muslim would make me change my viewpoint.
PEOPLE LIKE HIM ( AND THANK GOD THERE ARE NOT MORE OF THEM ) WILL NEVER GET IT. NEVER.
What makes me sad is all he did was state that he was gay. He wasn’t dating he wasn’t blatantly having sex and fyi Chocolate vent I know many many many Hetero kids in christian households going out getting pregnant at 18 and or younger before marriage and are still fully embraced by their CHRISTIAN FAMILIES because of the forgiveness. This isn’t a religious beliefs thing this is an unadulterated hate thing. If you believe it stems from religion then you are a part of what is wrong with the world. The End. “This child of God is more than his sexuality”
Well you certainly are entitled to your beliefs, as I am to mine. It really doesn’t matter if the parents use religion as their “excuse “or not. It’s still their house & their right to do with it what they please.
As for hetero kids in Christian households having babies out of wedlock, that’s wrong as well. No one is denying that. I think the difference for most is the choice of a lifestyle. You can be gay, straight, whatever (I really don’t care) but if you are walking outside of the will of God by fornicating (hetero or homo) then it’s still wrong.
In this case it seemed that the mother took issue with his “lifestyle”. Having sex & getting pregnant is not necessarily a “lifestyle” (it only takes 1 time to get pregnant, no?)
Look, do I think the parents handled it appropriately? No, of course not but I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to tell them how to run THEIR household. That was my whole point.
God trumps family any day? What are you, some American Taliban?
Chocolate Vent – I’ve spoken to both of my children and told them after they turn 18 – they are welcome to live with us as long as they have jobs and can pay rent. We are responsible until they graduate high school. We told them if they are having premarital sex….dating someone we don’t approve of…are living in any way we deem immoral…they are invited to live elsewhere. I left home at 18 – paid my way through college – and after a few setbacks, continued to be successful. Mt parents didn’t like my attitude or my choices but they still loved me. They didn’t have to abide my self destructive behaviors and neither do we have to abide our adult children’s behaviors if they are disagreeable. I think you would be a fine parent.
Thanks, but luckily I don’t have a desire to have children:)
WOW YOU ARE A SAD SAD PERSON
Dick head
Ha! What an expansive vocabulary & quite mature
What makes me sad is all he did was state that he was gay. He wasn’t dating he wasn’t blatantly having sex and fyi Chocolate vent I know many many many Hetero kids in christian households going out getting pregnant at 18 and or younger before marriage and are still fully embraced by their CHRISTIAN FAMILIES because of the forgiveness. This isn’t a religious beliefs thing this is an unadulterated hate thing. If you believe it stems from religion then you are a part of what is wrong with the world. The End. “This child of God is more than his sexuality”
Funny about those religious beliefs– how selective they are, how they just happen to coincide with a deeply engrained, ancient, vicious and durable prejudice.
We reads in the article about Mom, Dad, and STEP-MOM. You know what that sounds like? DIVORCE! You know who said divorce was a no-no, except for adultery?
So they have no problem with the big ol’ log of their own sins, but major problems with the speck of someone else’s. Jesus didn’t like that. They were busy judging their son for his alleged sins. Jesus didn’t like that. They were not treating someone else as they would like to be treated. Jesus didn’t like that. They seem to be ignoring what Jesus had to say about love being the greatest commandment. They were so without sin that they were ready to start casting stones.
You are of course entirely correct. They are free to toss their child out on to the street for his alleged sins. Their hypocrisy was that they also weren’t willing to do the same to themselves. Their hypocrisy was in the mother’s statement that she KNEW Daniel was gay from an early age, and then attempt to obviate their own sins by lying and claiming that he “chose” it.
Who said something about “Liars! Pharisees! Hypocrites!” Probably no one important.
Not to modern Christianity, at any rate.
I hear what you’re saying, but Christians aren’t perfect. Divorce is wrong, but we can’t be sure if these people were “saved” at the time of their 1st marriage or not.
I don’t think they were “judging” their son, so much as calling him out for what the Bible says is wrong. There is nothing wrong with chastising one another IN LOVE as Nathan did to King David (2 Samuel). It’s not to say that they think they’re perfect or anything, but wrong is wrong.
If I feel like my friends are going down the wrong path (like sleeping with too many men, for example), I call them out on it IN LOVE as Christ did. Doesn’t mean I’m a virgin, myself but wrong still recognizes wrong.
My son is gay. He is my hero and has saved me and his siblings at a time when their father moved on with another family. My son helps me to take care of his siblings and without him we would be lost. I have loved him the same always and his sexual orientation would never change my love and respect for him. Every day I am thankful for him and his beautiful heart and I am not the only one. He is in a relationship with a beautiful heart who also is the rock of his family and they both care and love for those close to them. I am so glad that I am not religious and free of all the tyranny of religion. It has been tyrannical throughout the ages and still continues to be. I am sorry for those who take the message of love from the religion and make it a personal path of faith just to be taken down by bigots who want to change every thing they do not like but carefully sidestep that which pertains to them. However this family displays none of the love and tolerance purported to be the message of Christ, they actually became physically violent and shamefully name calling the son who they should love and protect. Married before? why do they not reserve some of the name calling and violence for themselves then, but then again this is how christian bigots function and that youngster would probably be better off without them but it is sad that a parent could be like this.
” I am sorry for those who take the message of love from the religion and make it a personal path of faith just to be taken down by bigots who want to change every thing they do not like but carefully sidestep that which pertains to them. ”
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t use my religion to “bash” anyone. Nor does disagreeing with someone’s lifestyle make anyone a bigot. If you believe in something, namely a religion, it is your duty to follow the doctrine of your religion. If you don’t believe that someone is living according to your religion, there is nothing wrong with calling them out on it. I’m sure you did that in your own household – when your children weren’t acting according to how you raised them or did what you taught them to do, I’m sure there were consequences & perhaps you were even disappointed from time to time. It’s the same thing with God. If we choose to “shack up”, do drugs, etc… then all of that is equally displeasing to Him.
Even if his parents were married before doesn’t mean that they were Christians during the 1st marriage. People automatically assume a divorce = sin, but if you weren’t following Jesus Christ during your first marriage and end up getting divorced then you can’t hold their religion against them. Perhaps they weren’t following any religion at the time of their 1st marriage. (I’m not sure, but that is a possibility)
However, I understand that since you don’t subscribe to any religion my words may be altogether lost. I can’t have a conversation with someone about Jesus who doesn’t believe in Him. We’d just be going in circles. =(
And you’re right – that family did NOT display the love and tolerance of Jesus Christ. That’s unfortunate BUT I’m sure you know that NO ONE is perfect, not even us “Christians”.
Typical response from the usual suspects. You just don’t get it. What you want to call “proclaiming the truth in love” is you doing what you want to do and justifying it by hypocrisy.
This is why thinking, kind, decent, and compassionate people just don’t take your sort of Christian seriously. Any more than you take Christianity seriously, or Jesus seriously.
No, you don’t get it. not at all.
You are just the latest Good Christian (TM) continiing the 1700 hundred year old jihad against the right of gay people to exist free of your mistaken beliefs about them. You now pursue gay people with the same moral certainty with which you used to pursue witches, with the same tragic consequences for other humans, for a “sin” we now know cannot be committed.
You Good Christians take some badly translated passages in a book written 2000 years ago, rip them out of context, and claim that it might have something to do with homosexuality as we understand it today. The scholarship is running about 50-50 at this point. It’s not clear B&W at all, though clarity is frequently claimed for it. The only clarity is that this is clearly the latest in a long line of prejudices against whole groups of people, given a very thin veneer of respectability by calling it sincere religious belief.
Again, you prefer to ignore what actually IS clear in Scripture. We all sin, you say. Then according to Jesus’s own words, where on earth do you find the time to proclaim the truth in love, or as is a better description, doing what you moralizing busybodies always do– pointing the finger at other people’s sins, and giving yourself cover by also proclaiming “we’re all sinners here.” Winkwink. What part of “Look not for the speck etc” does not flat-out oppose the nonsense of “proclaiming the truth in love”, “loving the sinner, but…” and such similar tripe?
Don’t pray for me. You don’t have the spiritual cachet to do so, merely the spiritual arrogance to assume you can. Better pray for yourself, sinner.
But, if you pray for me, can I think for you?
You’re more than welcome to do whatever you want (pray for me, think for me, etc.),however if we don’t share the same beliefs, what’s the point of this entire conversation?
If you feel that the Bible is outdated & Christians “twist & turn” the scriptures, why do you feel the need to even respond to me? NO ONE expects Christians to be perfect but there is a certain standard by which we are called forth to live. You can love your children ALL DAY LONG, but if they screw up you have every right to not support them in whatever it is that you don’t agree with or dislike. You can love someone and NOT support what they do. You can compare it a daughter working in a strip club, if you’d like. The point is, you can love your little girl but still CHOOSE not to support her endeavors as a pole dancer.
Your lack of understanding shows – my entire point was that people can choose what they want to do in their own homes. Mortgage-paying, land-owning
adults should never have to justify why they won’t allow someone to live with them any longer. This isn’t about being gay or anything else for that matter.
You,re amazingly dishonest when you go on and on about religion and morality and then claim it isn’t about either. But it shouldn’t be surprising when you can claim the bible on one hand and ignore what Jesus had to say about concerning yourself with the sins of others.
As for why Im responding to you? are you truly that block-headed? this kid was kicked out of his home for religion. Political campaigns aimed at harming us and our families are waged all the time in the name of your particular, peculiar version of god. Gay kids kill them selves. We got saddled with the twin disasters known as the presidency of George bush because of the obsessions of religious conservatives. Gay kids I’ll themselves. Kids are kicked out of ther family homes, beaten and sometimes raped by the their (everybody deserves a) Mom and a Dad. Until 11 years ago in this country, you could be out in jail in 13 states for intimacy in your own home. We are regularly called by People Just Like You threats to marriage, family, faith, freedom, children, and goddam western civilization.
That’s why I bother responding to you. I doubt you’ll ever be reached, because you are too full of your god like self, too enamored of your own wholly imaginary superiority. But there are many people who read these pages and never say a word about it.
That’s why I bother. Not for you, but for them.
Shocking video. Not for the language but for the hate shown to this young man by his parents. I hope that his heart can heal but, as someone already said, being disowned by ones parents sends that person adrift. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Sadly, Daniel is not the only LGBT child of bigoted parents facing this.
Terrific post.
They knew he was gay when he was a child, but claim he chose to be gay? (You’re doing this just to hurt ME. ME! ME! ME! ME!)
Uneducated trash spouting uneducated trash.
Some 40 years ago, I began the process of separating from my parents. They were nothing like this trash, but they still made it clear that their beliefs about homosexuality and what it means to be gay were far more important to them than their relationship with their son. Eventually, I agreed with them.
well she doesn’t have gay friends anymore
Thanks for this. You forgot to mention to his mother, however, just how deeply a parent’s rejection affects a child, grown or not. There’s nothing in the world that can come close to a mother’s love, and there’s nothing that can make up for the absence of it. She should know that not only has she made him homeless, but she’s set him on a life-long struggle to fill an endlessly empty void. I am incredibly lucky to have a mom who never once made me feel less than good enough, but I’ve watched friends go through this. It never ends for them.
What horrible people, my heart goes out to this poor lad. Seems the milk of human kindness missed his parents. Nothing makes good that they assulted him. Nothing but nothing says you should react like this. It seems to me these ‘parents’ need to read the bible better. Matthew 7:1-3 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Homophobia has no place in the eyes of god we are created what we are and god loves us for that. He created us in his image. The biggest problem with the bible is that it has had MANY revisions each adding or subtracting stuff that the writer may have liked or disliked in their own opinion. Jesus came with two commandments to love god, and to love each other. His comming put an end to the old testement of an eye for an eye. It seem many is the south of the USA and other places cant and wont understand this and want to keep to the old testement where only an eye for an eye rules.
Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Absolutely wonderful post …. shows the reality many young ones face! The open letter hits the mark. Sharing … Hoping that this helps others.
Unfortunately, I’m not at all surprised by the recording – unsettling thought – it’s actually a bit milder than I expected (I spent too many years in fundy religion…) One comment by the mom or step-mom was telling: “I have gay friends. But they’re friends, not family.” Yes, it’s all about her and what the people in her closed-minded, small-hearted world will think. (And I’d bet those gay “friends” aren’t friends in any meaningful sense but are “loved” as evangelism targets to be rescued from hell.) I hope Daniel makes a wonderful life for himself and that, sooner or later, his parents wake up. I’m optimistic about the first, but doubtful about the second – that would truly take a “Damascus road” epiphany.
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve just donated to his campaign.
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