The response to my piece about my brother’s wedding and the subsequent defriending I experienced has been overwhelming. Profoundly touching has been the number of LGBTQ folks who have said things like, “I wish I had a brother like you,” “I’m so glad a straight person finally gets it,” or simply, “Thank you for your support.”
I have also been greatly heartened by the number of straight allies who have made statements like, “I’m so glad to know I’m not the only straight person who supports the LGBTQ community.” Perhaps most powerful of all was the straight woman who wrote that after seeing the video, “I am now fully a supporter (of same-sex marriage).”
There has been some interest expressed in seeing the note I wrote to my erstwhile friend after receiving his message. I still have the letter on my computer, and I share it with you here:
I was a little stunned by your message, and more so by the fact that you’ve completely blocked me out, making further communication difficult. If after this letter you have no desire to communicate, I will respect that and leave you be.
First let me thank you for reserving your comments for me alone and not posting on my wall. My brother and his husband C are dear to me, and I would hate for them to see anything denigrating their commitment on my page. C stood by my brother through his cancer treatment and the loss of his eye, and has shown up in our family as a wonderful uncle, brother and friend. They care deeply for one another and wanted to solemnize that commitment in front of family and friends.
I am surprised that you would choose to disengage with me over this matter. You and I have had some stimulating and thought provoking exchanges, and I never thought that fear of another point of view would cause you to back away.
Man, I don’t want to write a book length message here, and I’m really hoping that there will be some back and forth, but I have no guarantee of that.
What did Jesus have to say on this matter? How does it hurt YOU if two men get married? And do you personally know the heart of Christ so well that you have any place to condemn another? Let me repeat that, do you know the heart of Christ SO WELL that you can condemn another? Can you throw the first stone?
Yes, this has touched a nerve. I hope that you are strong enough to engage in this conversation. I hope that your faith will sustain you through this challenge. If not, peace be with you, may the light of God touch your heart so that you see the value of all of humanity, and understand that love is love.
It has been over a year since I sent the letter, and there has been no reply.
My intention was to be respectful but firm. I am interested to hear any thoughts y’all might have on the message.
Thank you to everyone who read the essay or watched the video, and thank you for the many wonderful and heartfelt comments.