I recently made a friend, Michael, through the internet. He lives on the East Coast, in the “other” Portland. He’s a gay man who reached out after he saw my viral video. I keep noticing these interesting parallels in our lives. My brother who I’ve written about is named Michael, my new friend Michael has a brother named David. We both live in Portland, and he mentioned that he and his husband are buying a house right now, just as my wife and I sign papers this week on our new house.

I don’t know if any of these parallels mean anything, but I guess I don’t believe in coincidence. It seems like the world is trying to tell me something. I suspect I know what I’m being reminded of: We are one. It’s simple, and maybe even trite, but it happens to be true. Sometimes I need an in-my-face reminder of this axiom.

I love this time of year. I’ve been noticing lately this warm feeling towards the people around me, particularly co-workers and family. I find myself profoundly grateful for my warm home and the food I eat. While I find shopping tiresome, I love thinking of people far away and finding gifts to express my fondness for them.

Okay, I admit it, I love Christmas.

Having left the Christian church with some vehemence as a young man, for many years I found myself rejecting the holiday. This was probably spurred along by the fact that my birthday falls on December 25^th, and my special day has always been slightly overshadowed. As my disaffection for the consumer culture grew, I found myself dreading the season and the attendant capitalist frenzy. But I’m turning 40 this year, and I guess maybe I’m maturing. While these things that turned me off to Christmas are still true, something bigger and more important is shining through.

Lately I am finding my patience for the homophobic individuals I encounter to be waning. Some of the civil discourse I engage in is only a choice word or two away from complete devolution into mud-slinging. I’m having a tough time remembering that I am one with some people. But I’m still trying, because I don’t think that I can help them to see themselves as one with our LGBTQ family by telling them where to stick it. So I’m trying.

Christmas encourages us to celebrate our oneness; to give each other gifts to help make the cold time more bearable; to sew the quilt of our community a little tighter and keep us all a little warmer. I am grateful for my new friend, Michael, who I am stitching into my quilt from across the country as our lives run parallel tracks.

So this is my Christmas wish; for myself and everyone. I wish for us all to remember our oneness, and to strive in our actions to sew our quilt a little tighter.