My younger brother is gay. Gay as laughter. Gay as the day is long. One of the finest moments in my life, and one of the greatest compliments anyone has ever paid me, was the day he felt safe to come out to me. He’s in his mid-30s now, but he’ll always be my little brother. And man, I love that kid. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, and he’s kind. And he just married a phenomenal man.
I was always predisposed to like his husband because, y’know, he’s my brother’s partner and therefore has automatic status in my heart. The wonderful bonus is that I really like him. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, and he’s kind. He’s a cool dude to hang out with. He also stood by my brother like a rock when my brother had a life-threatening cancer that cost him his left eye.
They married in May. It was a wonderful ceremony in which I was honored to stand by my brother, supporting him in his vows. My eyes teared up like they always do at weddings. I had the joy of watching two people commit to a lifetime together. It filled my heart.
Folks started posting photos from the wedding on Facebook, and I proudly reposted photos of the ceremony (with me looking awesome in my new suit, of course). Shortly after that, I received this message from a FB friend:
“Hey David, I am removing you from my friends list…sorry man, that latest post is way over the top! Homosexuals joining in “Holy” matrimony…I don’t think so??? The Holy Bible speaks out against homosexuality and speaks highly of Holy matrimony between a man and a woman. It’s nothing more than a slap in the face to those who choose God’s Word, for homosexuals to join in a Holy marriage. I’m only defriending you so I don’t have to look at your anti-God stuff anymore…nothing personal!”
Wow.
This came from a man I used to work with. A man I respect in his dedication to his family, and in his desire to live a moral and ethical life. A man with whom I have had some very interesting religious debates. He has become a Baptist preacher since we last spoke in person, and I suppose that makes this message unsurprising.
But, I was still surprised. I was taken aback. I needed a moment. I was hurt.
I was inclined to hurl some expletives in his direction.
But, only for a moment. He’s not really that important of a person in my life. I had actually at times grown rather tired of his Facebook postings…I don’t have a great need for fundamentalist dogma in my day. So, on some level, good riddance.
I sent him a letter at his church, expressing my disappointment in his withdrawal. I had a few friends read the letter before I sent it, to make sure that it didn’t contain too much bile. I’m not surprised that I haven’t heard back from him.
The situation got me thinking: What if this hadn’t been about my brother’s wedding, but about MY wedding? What if it hadn’t been from a distant friend, but from a beloved family member?
Ouch.
How many millions of gay kids (and adults) have had that exact thing happen to them? How many millions more will in the future?
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for that pain. I’m sorry for that rejection. I’m sorry for that isolation.
I’m straight. Straight as a yardstick. Straight as an arrow. I am in your corner. If I could take on that pain for you, I would.
I love you.
If you’re gay, I think that’s wonderful, and I’m truly happy for you. I wish you all the love and joy in the world.
If you’re straight, I think that’s wonderful, and I’m truly happy for you. I wish you all the love and joy in the world. And I charge you, I charge you to imagine the above scenario played out with YOU as the target of rejection. Imagine the people closest to you telling you, essentially, “You are fundamentally flawed and I want nothing to do with you.” Our LGBTQ brothers and sisters face this everyday. Please don’t forget that.
The poor, misguided soul is no longer in my life. That’s okay. My brother and his husband still are. I just hung out with my brother a few weeks ago, and it was a blast. He’s brilliant, he’s funny, and he’s kind. I couldn’t be prouder to call him my brother. I love him, and love wins, period.
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Now multiply this kind of rejection 1000 times, and you’ll get a hint of what it’s like to be a GLBT person in America.
This is wonderfully written. Thank you. As a straight Christian person who supports equal rights for gay couples I often find myself alone in that corner. It’s nice to see others standing up for love.
-SB
http://www.senatorbrett.wordpress.com
Really?! Wow. That’s sad.
Thank you. Not many straight people – including allies – really get it the way you do. Yes; love wins, always and forever.
I had to de-friend someone I went to nursing school with, over a blog post by her pastor which she felt the need to re-post. I’m a lesbian, she’s not, we are both church-goers, but she attends a fundamentalist church. The blog post of course compared homosexuality with all kinds of offensive things like pedophilia and bestiality. I sent her a polite little message about why I unfriended her, and her reply was that on a personal level she liked me and wished me well. It was very civilized but at the same time had that same slap-in-the-face feeling. She went to nursing school with me and several other gay/lesbian students, we all suffered together for two years, and yet she cannot separate fundamentalist dogma from real human beings. Given the opportunity to practice critical thinking, compassion and understanding, she chooses dogma.
Thanks for your apology, and thanks for being such an upright guy. We need more like you.
I’m jealous as hell! God bless you and your brother and his husband!
Wow, this article was just shared with me via Facebook and I could not admire your courage and honesty more in writing this. I admire the relationship between you and your brother as well. Lots and lots of kudos!
That was wonderful, I have shared it on facebook and will continue to share it,, til everyone reads it ! ! 🙂 YAY FOR YOU and YAY for your brother in finding a husband ! ! May you all have a cherished and beautiful life ! ! !
Ask him how many Levican rules he keeps, like not trimming his beard and temple hair, wearing blended fabrics, etc… then invite him over so that you may hurl rocks at his hypocritcal arse.
Levitican … oops
You, in my humble opinion, are awesome.
When heterosexuals stop patting themselves on the back for treating their gay children, gay brothers, and gay sisters as ACTUAL human beings, the world will be more inhabitable for us all.
What in the HELL does that mean??? As a gay man, this sounds like it came from a bitter queen. This blog was beautifully written…and very enlightening. So, if you’ve found fault in that, then…screw you. If not, and I have misunderstood what you just wrote then I apologize.
Bill, I don’t think the author is ‘patting himself on the back’. He is simply recounting his experience and support of his brother. I proudly support the LGBT community and have no problem expressing it to others. Am I patting myself on the back? NO. I don’t think i’m special or expect anything in return. I want the LGBT community to know that they have a christian ally on their side, who supports and loves them. When you’re going through a rough time, doesn’t it help you to know you have people to love and support you? We SHOULD be vocal about our love and acceptance, if anything, to counteract all the hate that is spewed towards the LGBT community.
Hi Bill,
Thanks for sharing your view. Just as a point of clarification, David’s attitude was not as you characterize it. Quite the opposite. He does not view his support of his brother as anything special, but simply as appropriate as it should be. His experience here was from having that expectation and finding that others not only did not share it, but would actively reject him for his attitude alone.
David does not consider himself to be a hero. That is probably the only opinion he and I differ on….
Dude, everyone comes out. And what that means, and how that’s done, has nothing to do with your world view. I get your point of “I’m not racist, I have a black friend” -esque mentality. But there is a difference between that, and what happened here. This is describing that critical moment of insight, when someone says “I get it.” Don’t deny people that. You want it to change? Be a part of it, and don’t shun people who are trying. Help them to be better, if you yourself can do it. I’m sure you’ve never been prejudicial in your life.
I don’t see him patting himself on the back for anything. He’s simply trying to get a point across. And it’s a good one at that.
i guess what you mean is, that being gay or generally a LGBT is nothing special, just as treating LGBTs as normal humans is nothing special, cause being LGBT is as normal as being straight – am i right?
(there´s something i´d like to call “twisted racism” – being extra nice to someone, cause that person is black, is somehow comparable to being mean, just because someone is black)
so, somehow you are right – we should not patt ourselves for treating people the way they deserve to be treated (especially not when we just do it for the praise) – but we can patt ourselves for standing up for equality (cause that is not something everyone does)
Hi Bill,
You are right.
Thank you for commenting.
Peace,
Dave
Why do you expect everyone to like you or your brother?
It is ignorant to force your beliefs on someone who does not believe in homosexual relationships.
You should respect everyone’s preferences.
He forced nothing. He DID nothing.
It was the ‘man of God’ who did not “respect everyone’s preferences.”
Wake up to yourself.
^ word
Amen, Bill. Exactly.
Where did it say that he was forcing his beliefs on anyone? Nowhere. See, this is exactly what the problem is. By simply trying to live our lives, just as you do, you say that we are ‘forcing’ our beliefs on you. Please tell me how it’s fair for heterosexual people to go about their lives, sharing the things they desire to share, and when a gay person does it, it’s suddenly ‘forcing’ their beliefs on you. It’s simple, even I can answer that. You do not regard gay people to be as worthy as you are. You believe that they are second-class citizens, or somehow less human than you are.
I urge you to just think about how it might feel if the tables were turned, if YOU were the minority. Just like the author said – think about how it would feel if it was YOU.
I’m sure you won’t take the time to do that, even though I hope you will. Gay people want nothing more than to be treated as EQUAL. That’s it.
And I’ll leave it with requoting YOUR OWN words – you should respect everyone’s preferences. Although I think what you meant was, “you should respect everyone’s preferences… unless you’re not straight.” Just say what you mean, dude.
This is the agenda of the incredibly religious wrong. They make idiotic statements such as…”ignorant to FORCE your beliefs on someone”…as they say below…no one forced anything on him. He was just rejoicing in the fact of the love between his brother and his brother’s partner. Period. This is the same old tired argument you guys have over gay marriage “RUINING” straight marriage…as if anyone else’s marriage could affect yours. That’s just dumb thinking…and is a front for your hatred. YOU in fact, are not respecting another’s life. So…go away.
When the majority is trying to change laws in this country just to reject other minority members of society based upon some words from a 2000 year old book – who is trying to force beliefs on who? If you can’t answer that questions honestly – then you are just lying to yourself.
This guy did nothing more than post photos from a wedding. If photographs of people enjoying themselves and being happy is ‘forcing’ you to believe something then I think your faith is very, very tenuous.
By sharing your ‘Christmas’ photos of you and your family smiling at the tree – is that ‘forcing’ your beliefs on someone? By telling people about you and your church’s Coat Drive for the underprivileged youth in your city – is that forcing your beliefs on someone else? If your answer is no to that – then how is sharing a family moment on their facebook page FORCING you to believe something? Is it because you believe gay people have 4 heads and are trying to destroy humanity? And when you see that they are just enjoying each others company and just trying to be happy – that this forces you to re-evaluate your stance on homosexuality and think that, perhaps, you were wrong – and you feel like that tests your faith? Maybe then I can believe you feel like that is forcing their beliefs on you – because you can’t possibly believe that gay people aren’t what you think they are or what you have been told. Posting photographs suddenly makes you realize that all anyone wants is the right to love and live when you see it in color.
If someone loving someone else makes you test your faith because they are in love – then maybe your faith isn’t what you thought it was. Or maybe – you should just butt out of other peoples lives and let them live as they want to live.
I don’t think you understand what “ignorant” means.
Is it not, then, equally as “ignorant” to force YOUR beliefs on others who DO believe in marriage equality? Is it not even more hypocritical of YOU to expect the rest of the country to live according to YOUR belief system, ie; banning gay/lesbian marriage because YOUR book supposedly says so? I’m thinking it is YOU who should respect everyone’s preferences, not the other way around. I don’t see anyone out there trying to pass laws that force YOU to live according to Islam or Hinduism. I do however see a whole lot of supposed Christians out there trying to force their idea of morality on the rest of the nation. Think about it.
If your “preference” is that I be denied the rights everyone else enjoys, why the hell would I respect that?
Very nice piece. Thank you. One thing I noted was his closing – ‘nothing personal’. I have heard similar stories of people unfriended on FB, told to get out of someone’s life, for a variety of reasons, and many of them seem to include some sort of ‘nothing personal’ comment by the ‘unfreinder’. It says a lot about people when they can say and do very personal things and then tack on a ‘Oh,nothing personal meant by my rejection of you’. Kudos for rising above all of that so eloquently.
Love this post, oh so much!
I’m a Christian Straight Ally and I LOVE my gay and non-gay brothers and sisters all the same. One love. People deserve happiness, and marriage is such a gift – everyone should have equal access to it.
Hatred of any kind is just such an ugly thing. But something about hatred in the name of Christ just really butters my biscuits. I can’t stand it. It’s so backwards.
ROCK ON Ally David, you inspire, brother!
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I loved this article.
Reblogged this on Bits of Memory and commented:
Ed and I got MArried on our 18th anniversary in Washington DC. I have had family members drop me because of the way I berate “Christians”. My attitude is not one of looking for acceptance but demanding respect. If you cannot give me the respect I deserve as a human, then fuck ya! I don’t know why I just heard Joan Crawford in my head!
I can’t help noticing that whenever LGBT folks complain about homophobia, we are accused of berating Christians. You don’t get to treat people like crap and then claim religious persecution when they don’t like it.
This is a great blog post. Glad you are not as closed minded as the religious zealots in the world today.
I’m straight as straight can get with two roomies (who are partners trying to get married). I don’t care about their sexual preference or their lifestyle. I care about them as people just like anyone else I run across. I look at a person’s mind and heart first and foremost and with hold judgement until they do something to screw it up 🙂
I am, too, straight as a yard stick, and I want to say: THANK YOU for this post. LGBTQ folks are people too. There isn’t an “us” and “them”. They’re not “wrong” for their orientation and neither are we “right”. Love is love.
❤
I ADORE YOU! Please feel free to have as many children as humanly possible. YOU are the kind of person who should be multiplying.
The Importance of Allies – http://youtu.be/qiloehlRthM
My sister and her husband gave out Equality bracelets at their wedding in Wales, and gave a speech about everyone should wear them to remind people that LGBT people deserve Equality, Love and the freedom to marry, the freedoms everyone else takes for granted.
When our non-gay brothers and sisters stand proud with us, we all win 🙂
THANK YOU BROTHER!
I know it may not seem possible to some people, but I am a hardcore Christian, a homophob, but I also believe that gay marriage should be legal. I will not choose to have gay friends, but I will not try to stop you from being gay. I don’t care. I am uncomfortable around gay people. I can’t help it. You can call me whatever you want. I don’t want to hang around you, I’m sick of you protesting, and I think homosexuality is wrong, but I will not keep you from doing it. Sorry if my acceptance offends you.
What about the sins YOU commit everyday, the adultery for example,,, just thinking about it is the same as doing it. The difference is you keep those sins a secret, it is something between you and God. Suppose we could all see the sick and sinful things that are in your head,,, and we de-friended you, we reported you to the pastor and church or shunned you..or told you that God hates you… would that make you feel closer to God? Would that make you want to walk with God? The word is called the Good NEWS… YOU are saved from the vile things YOU do daily because of the blood of Jesus,,,, nothing else. That is what it is about, coming to Jesus, not about your judgement
Even though I don’t agree with your views, I wanted to thank you for at least letting others live their own lives. It takes a strong person to be able to admit they are uncomfortable about something, but still be tolerant to it. Thank you.
I’m not going to stop you from being a moron. I don’t care. I am uncomfortable around idiots. I can’t help it. I would call you a poor Christian for being so comfortable and accepting of your vile hate. I don’t want to hang around you, I’m sick of your Bible thumping, and I think that your view on Jesus, Christianity and God are wrong, but I will not keep you from being a hypocrite. I’m not sorry that people like you will, by your own beliefs and book, never reach Heaven. I hope this offends you.
There’s nothing to be offended by. All we ever ask for is what your extending– tolerance, also known as live and let live. so thank you.
At the same time…
You might it very valuable to find out what upsets you so much about something that you say you don’t care about. I’m not making any implications. just pointing otu something that seems to cause you some pain.
exactly!! Tolerance is key, people have the right to feel however they want! However to make someone else feel like they’re a social disease or un-loved by God is complete BS. I am not gay but one of my best friends is & I watch him struggle everyday with who he is & to even accept himself. We live in a small town of about 9000 people & there are very few openly gay people/couples. Being Gay doesn’t define who you are!! It’s not any different than having a certain eye color, you were born that way.
Oh, gosh, I’m so sorry you’re sick of us protesting. We’re sick of being called sinners, having our rights up for public vote, having our rights denied, being rejected from our families and communities by people who are ~uncomfortable~ around us…not to mention the beatings and murders. If you saw a bully beating up another kid, would you tell the other kid you were sick of his screaming? And then call that acceptance?
I am so very grateful for people like you, who support and love your brother and his husband in real and powerful ways.
My two sisters welcomed my partner into their homes and their lives. My partner’s brother welcomed me into his home. My partner’s sister has not spoken to her brother since he came out, ten years ago. Whenever she shows up at the parent’s house, there’s always scheduling drama (after all, we don’t want the sister to be in earshot of “the gays”….). But the parents have come around – after an extended period of silence.
Living in Missouri, we will have same-sex marriage rights – about four hours after Jesus returns in glory….and maybe not even then. There are people here in MO who wouldn’t support same-sex marriage even IF Jesus told them it was OK.
People like you are changing the way the world will see us, and those who come after us. Maybe there will be more “Christ” in the world of “Christians” in days to come. As Shakespeare wrote, “All I can say is thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks.”
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You are a beautiful man and the world is so much richer for having you in it. Thank you for sharing this message of love with us. I will carry the final words of this story with me the rest of my days. “Love wins. Period”.
Reblogged this on Reality Transport and commented:
I like this article…
Reblogged this on Freedom for All.
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RELIGOUS ZEALOTS ARE THE BANE OF OUR SOCIETY…I’m not Gay, but have friends that are…SO VERY SICK OF THE “Holier than thou” attitude of some people…I am more of a spiritual person, mostly because of all the bad stuff that the various religions have done in the name of their particular GOD over time…My religion is KINDNESS,COMPASSION , and CARING, and LOVE!!!
Reblogged this on The Ghost of A Tortured Mind and commented:
This is beautiful.
I asked my friends & family similar questions on my FB not too long ago. I asked them to take just 5 min & think about the “what if it was me” scenarios. What if heterosexuality was a sin? What if opposite-sex marriages weren’t allowed? What if I was beaten, picked on, ridiculed, threatened or even raped for being in an opposite-sex relationship? What if a man & woman couldn’t have kids? Simply ; what if the situation were reversed?
I ‘lost’ over 100 ‘friends,’ some I had known since pre-school, & my sister, who has stood by & helped me more in my life when I needed it than my parents, not only accused me publicly of being gay (which I didn’t care kuz its not like its offensive to be non-straight) & attacked any friends who dared to comment in support of what I had to say, but also defriended me, blocked me, refused to talk to me & wouldn’t let me see her kids or bring my kids, who adore her over all others, to see her. My God-son was disgusted to learn of my support (even tho his mother is also a supporter) & felt slightly uncomfortable the first few days of his vacation at my house. My husband asked me if I was bi & if I had cheated on him w/ a girl b/c of all my pro-LGBT posts…
However I also earned the trust of my cousin who lives in NY (I’m in AR) & she came out to me as being Bi. She told me how scared she was to tell any of the family down south, but that now that she knew she had someone down here who fully supported her & would stand with her that she wasn’t as scared. She’s a few years younger than I am (I’m 26) & even tho she is over 1K miles away she was afraid to tell us. I cried more over that than of the loss of my sister.
I shared your story & I hope some of my anti-LGBT friends & family read it. Maybe, just maybe they’ll open their eyes. If not… I’ll have a few less bigots in my life.
What a great dialoge. I nearly cried for you. You went straight to my heart for expressing your feeling. Their will always be people with closed minds.
Oh, dear God, have mercy. I get the sister’s deal, I get the god-kid’s deal. But your husband?…. I am so damn sorry you have had to endure that.
As a gay man, I thank you for your support. Especially, thank you for the support of your cousin in NY. As a resident in the city where the Assemblies of God mother-ship landed, I can tell you that ANYONE from down here who is pro-GLBT is considered gay on that basis alone, and it takes real courage to be a “straight ally.” Thank God for folks like you.
I live in Portland, OR, where I know so many gay and bisexual people that I recently noticed whenever I meet someone new I sort of automatically assume they’re gay until I have some evidence otherwise. Stories like yours remind me that much of America is drastically dramatically and dangerously different than my hometown. Keep fighting the good fight, combatting the ignorance, and standing up and speaking out not only for what is right but about your own experiences, Jessica. This is the only way it gets better for everyone.
I’m so sorry about your husband and your sister. 😦 Hang in there.
Again, thanks for telling your story.
Aww, this is beautiful. A really close friend of mine is gay, and he only just came out to me. He had to do it drunk just so that he’d have the courage to tell his closest friends, and honestly his sexual orientation has not changed anything one bit. I love him and will always support him no matter what. If someone decides to defriend, it’s their loss 🙂
You are truly a great FRIEND. I am happy for you for understanding and standing together with a true friend.
I am pansexual (if we have to go by labels). I don’t care what gender you are, man, woman, transgendered, it really has never mattered to me. If there is a connection, I’m going to go for it. If I fall in love, I am the luckiest person alive. It has always been who I am. From my first kiss all the way to today. When I finally came around to that fact, and decided to be true to myself, I started to tell people closest to me. I remember being so afraid to tell my older brother, because even though he had the equality (yellow equal sign on blue background) sticker on his car, it might have been different when the person is a family member, you know? I remember going to his house, sitting him and his wife (a dear friend of mine since the 7th grade) down in their living room. I remember taking a huge breath and just plunging in. I told them that I have always had feelings for girls, have always been attracted to all sexes. I told them that I felt I had been too afraid in my life to persue those feelings and so I never had, openly. I told them that I felt it was time to be true to myself, and that I was going to openly date women. I told them that I loved them, and I wanted them to know the truth. I told them that I hoped they could understand and accept me.
Immediately my brother just said, in simple words, “Lauren, did you see the sticker on my car? Why would you think I would have any sort of problem with this? We love you and we want you to be happy.”
Now, I lived my life, I learned about myself and my sexuality, I made amazing friends and connections that I will cherish for the rest of my life. And I found my calling, I found that I wanted (and will be by next spring when I graduate) to be a human rights journalist, to call attention to the lack of equality in our country. I eventually met a man who was a gentle and kind person. I fell in love and in a little over a month I am going to marry him. It doesn’t change who I am, it doesn’t change my sexuality, and it doesn’t change the fact that I am going to fight for the rest of my life to see the day when ALL people have equal rights, no matter who they love.
This is really long, but I just wanted to say that I love this article. You remind me very much of my older brother. Because when he found out his “baby” sister liked girls, he had nothing to say other than, “I love you and I want you to be happy.” Thank you so much for spreading this message. Thank you so much for being that person in your brother’s life. Thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. It’s people like you and my older brother who will change this world! ❤
Just so you know: transgender is not a gender. There are transgender men and transgender women. There are also genderqueer/non-binary people, who don’t identify as men or women, but not all trans people are non-binary and many trans men and women find it really hurtful to go through all the trouble and pain of transitioning only to be referred to as “other”.
Two words for you: You rock!
Real friends only earn the privilege of our friendship when they do NOT vote Republican.
If you are even thinking of voting for Grand Old Prejudice, please unfriend us on Facebook and in the 3D world. You are choosing to be a real enemy of our marriage and have simply not earned our friendship.
You choose to forfeit the privilege of our friendship when you either choose to vote Republican or choose to promote the GOP agenda to destroy the sanctity of our marriage and to make our marriage unConstitutional in our homeland.
Don’t blame us. The GOP and their unChristlike ilk have chosen to turn our marriage into a political football.
Whether you are born heterosexual or not, and especially if you are born non-heterosexual, you are not a friend when you vote Republican for any reason whatsoever.
We are beyond any debate about the sanctity of our marriage. Does that make us a ‘single-issue’ couple? You bet it does. Who would YOU vote for who targets to destroy YOUR happy marriage?
Simply unfriend us, before we unfriend and block you on Facebook and in the 3D world when we see anything you might post or share that promotes the GOP.
While I’m proud to say that none of my friends I know are homophobic, I feel sorry for those who believe that it’s against God’s will to love who ever one chooses to love. I’m still confident that there will be a day when the next generation can say to their fathers that they were wrong and ask them to start again, together.
When it comes to the incorrect interpretation about bible saying that being gay is wrong, I would always refer to this site: http://www.soulforce.org/resources/what-the-bible-says-and-doesnt-say-about-homosexuality/
After all, no child is born homophobic.
When I am asked if I believe in gay marriage, I reply the same way Mark Twain did when asked if he believed in infant baptism: “Believe in it? Why, I’ve seen it done!” I go on to explain that about 20 years ago, I witnessed a marriage ceremony between two gay friends who are still together today. I tell them that despite their disapproval, people will continue to fall in love, hold a ceremony, make vows to each other, and go about setting up a household where they can spend the rest of their lives together. Because that’s what marriage is.
Homosexuality is wrong. Marriage is between a man and a woman. I will never understand why people make the choice they do.
The day you can wake up and honestly “choose” to change who you find attractive, is the day it will be a choice.
This…totally this. I’m straight. I didn’t choose to be attracted to men. It was just always THERE as I grew up and the hormones started. The same thing happened to my gay and lesbian friends, except their attraction was to the same sex. The idea that people would CHOOSE to have to hide who they are, to face such ridicule, to be treated like crap, and denied even basic human rights like love and marriage is ridiculous.
F*ck off, troll.
That’s very unfortunate for you. “Love wins, period.”
Just so you know being gay isn’t a choice. You are speaking from emotion not facts.
Because they love each other, something you apparently have a hard time seeing.
If we are to truly define marriage by the way it is presented in the Bible, then even all of those in heterosexual, loving, monogamous, and faithful marriages are in non-traditional or non-Biblical marriages. That means the only ones that have truly practice “Biblical marriage” are people like Newt Gingrich and we know how great of an example his marriage(s) provide.
That’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to understand it. You just have to realize that it’s none of your business. I will never understand why people like caramel…. Hmmm…. maybe I should go protest Baskin Robins.
“I will never understand why people like caramel…. “…
OK. That is just blasphemy! Who doesn’t like caramel????? 🙂
You and your ilk say it’s wrong. God–or nature or whatever you CHOOSE to believe in–says it’s right, since that’s who/what made people gay. Unlike those who choose to follow a religion (and many of whom choose to change what they follow at some point in their lives), no one chooses to be gay; rather, they are born with their natural drives wired into them. You may twist the words of your book however you like to try to defend your bigotry, but you may want to ponder how you’ll explain your defense of hatred and failing to love your neighbor when you move on from this life.
Strangely your arguments are stunningly similar with this guy: http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/tdomf/214239/dniVC.jpg
Do I have to go any further?
I am straight but I know this is not a ‘choice’!! People are born with lots of different qualities and characteristics. I believe God loves all of his children….Whether you believe it or not. I love my gay family and friends and accept a person for who they are. There will be a lot less antagonism and problems in this world if people learned to get along….ALL people!!!
It is precisely BECAUSE I am straight that I know sexuality is not a choice. I didn’t choose to be attracted to women! There was never a time in my adolescence when I sat alone in my bedroom and thought, “Hmmmm… who should I be sexually attracted to, girls or guys? I guess I’ll pick girls!!” Because this “decision” never takes place… it’s not the way it works.
LGBT folks do have to make a very serious and difficult decision, namely, whether to conceal their orientation and live a lie, or to reveal it and subject themselves to the kind of hatred, ignorance and bigotry that is so openly on display in this country, especially when Christianists are around. Although I have many LGBT friends and relatives who have described that inner conflict to me, I still would never pretend to understand the degree of anguish these brothers and sisters go through. If one could choose to NOT be gay, why on earth would that person choose a path that leads to rejection, ridicule, ostracization and diminished human rights? Who would ever make that “choice?”
Poor little Marriage is between a Man and a Woman fellow. Your mind is so narrow¡
You say homosexuality is wrong. So are a whole lot of other things; like being judgmental and pious. Quote, “I will never understand why people make the choice they do.” Let’s look at that statement in it’s simplicity. One, it isn’t a choice. If you believed that statement you would believe that decided one day to be heterosexual. No, you say?? Because heterosexuality is part of who you are? Exactly. Do you honestly believe that it is like waking up and choosing eggs or cereal, or between a green and red shirt? And with all of the prejudice, bigotry, and hatred surrounding our LGBT brothers and sisters, do you think this is something they would choose…an orientation that opens them up to ridicule, being shunned by friends, disowned by family, and many often contemplating suicide?? Regardless of your views on marriage, you need to educate yourself by getting to know someone who is LGBT. Become their friend. Learn about who they are. And love them. But sadly enough, that might be a bad CHOICE for you. How heartbreaking.
Pretending to understand the nature and will of ‘God’ is wrong. I will never understand why religious zealots choose to bury their heads in the sand the way they do.
I have news for you: marriage is not between a man and a woman. It is between two people who have the courage and commitment to make a stand for their love for one another. If you think you are standing by ‘biblical’ principles to defend this stance then you seriously need to go back and read that book’s many, many changing stances on what constitutes ‘marriage.’ Seriously. Get with the century.
We are all raised (most of us, at least) with the basic fundamentals of consideration: wait your turn, don’t call people names, share, love, laugh, live, flourish, and most of all – treat people the way you want to be treated. I live my life as an open, loving, caring person – and that treatment is not limited. I refuse to hate someone, or something without cause because in the end, I would be the one hurt by that choice. These are the basics of human nature, the water of life, people. Love one another, live through one anothers’ stories and choices, flourish within this ever changing and expanding world that we all call home. We all share this home – there’s no room for judgment and hatred.
In terms of you, “Marriage is Between a Man and a Woman”: this is everyones home – so stop trying to kick people out. Join the right side of this fight; join the side with love, not the side with blind hatred. Love always wins.
To all of my GLBTQ friends and family (and to the wonderful author of this moving story): Love has already won with you, and in turn you have filled my life with love. Enjoy your lives, the chance to be who you really are – most people never get to know who they are, let alone fight for it and live it to the fullest. I’m so proud, and humbled by your unwavering strength, bravery, and love. NEVER let ANYONE take away your spirit. It is your GOD GIVEN RIGHT.
We’re in the same boat, buddy: I don’t understand why people choose to become homophobes.
What religious fanatics like that are doing, essentially, is segregating them selves. Their numbers dwindle by the day, and churches are failing more and more as their preachers preach hate and vitriol that is counter-intuitive to what Jesus truly said. “Alternative” churches are on the rise, where people who are loving and inclusive are able to come together with each other, regardless of race or sexual orientation, to hear the TRUE meaning of Jesus’ word; which is love. There’s a reason that pews are becoming empty in certain places; it’s because God’s people cannot be fooled. God bless us all, every one.
You just made me tear up a little bit there.
Pingback: Defriended Over a Wedding, a Straight Man Gains Perspective « jess195
You brought tears to my eyes. We have been abused and assaulted, lost jobs, been attacked by former friends/family, and been homeless for being gay…and many people don’t even believe us when we say so. My wife and I thank you for this. You are a true ally, I hope many more will be like you.
I can only think of one response that fits.
AMEN!
Reblogged this on storminthecalm and commented:
Glad there are people around willing to stand up for the rights of the LGBT community. Good on you 🙂
I am so very sorry this happened. Sheesh. So maddening. I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know that there are plenty of Christian ministers out here who celebrate the love your brother and his partner share. I am a Baptist minister myself. I have a blog where I invite straight people of any faith to tell their stories of how they found their way to celebrating GLBT people in the midst of our toxic culture. http://howwegotover.wordpress.com
Thank you. I may not be Christian, but I can appreciate your openness and love.
Beautiful – simple, yet beautiful.
Thanks for sharing. This was an incredibly powerful story and I oftentimes wonder if I’ll lose any “friends” when I post pro-gay information. Like you said though, it really doesn’t matter if they do. I just feel bad for people like that who can’t get past it being same sex and just see love for love.
Absolutely, 100% agree with you.
I recently had to end contact with my oldest sister on FB for similar intolerance on her part.
A friend of mine just emailed me a few days ago asking for advice because her brother has disowned her because of her support of gay rights. She is devastated. She asked me because I have lost many a close friend and family member because of my support of marriage equality, gay rights, and out spoken opinion on the harm of religion. Why, in our modern times, can people honestly believe in inequality? I don’t care how old a book is, bigotry should have no place in our evolved world.
Yopu have to wonder why some people put their beliefs about homoseuxality and what it means to be gay ahead of their friends, families, and hearts.
We gay people are trying to heal families. The family calues crowd seem to delight in tearing them apart.
sad.
Honestly, I can’t be friends with homophobes or bigots. Hell, I want to know what party someone votes for before I’ll be there friend. I just have no tolerance for it. So, I can understand WHY someone would put their morals and ethics before friendships. Family? I’ll have a Don’t Ask Don’t Tell attitude with them, but I expect them to just not talk about that sort of things either.
Reblogged this on regan5 and commented:
Still in Louisana. Here’s another good post in my absence.
Reblogged this on Get to Your Happy Place! and commented:
All about standing up for what you believe in and being your true Self. Happy Tuesday!
What a wonderful story! Sad that there are still the “defrienders” in the world but the group who gets it is growing!
More than 15 years ago, a very dear friend of mine, decided to “defriend” me (in person) because I had and continue to have many friends who happen to be homosexual. He visited me in San Francisco and gave me a cassette of a Christian preacher speaking “the word of God” about how homosexual people are destroying our children’s minds by allowing homosexuals to teach in their schools. We talked face to face about his religious beliefs (he had been attempting to ‘save’ me for years) and when this came up I let him know that I felt his disapproval of my gay friends and my acceptance of their lifestyle was un-christian-like, short-sighted and judgemental. I said if that was the position Christians take, I could not be a part of it. He chose to leave and never speak to me again. I felt bad aboutour loss of friendship for a long time and questioned my own beliefs and feelings. But after much soul-searching, I realized the love and friendship of my homosexual friends and is a treasured gift. Discrimination against anyone who is different because of their gender, sexual orientation and preferences, race, or religious beliefs prevents one from experiencing all the true benefits of friendship. Any God that wants to harm that love and joy is a God I will have nothing to do with.
That backs up belief that I cannot be “friends” with someone who discriminates against your other friends or family. My BS detector always goes off when I hear a politician saying something anti-gay, while in the same breath adding that she/he has “dear friends” who are gay. They do not. I cannot be friends with a racist or an anti-gay person, as it would be an insult to my friends of other races or gay friends.
Agreed. You beat me to it, so I’ll just add my voice to yours.
Amen, and alleluia.
May I refer you all to a remarkable video? The speaker, Matthew Vines, is a 19 year-old gay Christian… and he too is brilliant, funny and kind… plus he knows scripture. Its more than worth watching. The Gay Debate: The Bible and Homosexuality:
PS- It’s bit too subtle at first, IMHO… and, if you aren’t a bible scholar, it can require some mental gymnastics to follow… but it’s very worth it to hear someone (finally!) address the issues of God’s being All-Perfect, All-Knowing, All-Loving and wanting only the best for all of His children.
I’m so glad you posted this! What a great speech. I love this kid so much. I watched this a week or so ago and just criiiiiiiied lol… What a sweet and smart man.
Thank you for standing on the side of love, the side of what is right and the side of family. You are beautiful, worthy and loved (just as your brother) just the way you are! Rev. Royal D. Bush