A Gay Dad Note to the Parents Who Are Seeking to Devastate Their 15 Year-Old Daughter and Her 18 Year-Old Girlfriend

ImageI did a double take when I first saw it. A teen girl was expelled and ARRESTED for having a relationship with another girl. I hunkered down in full fury mode reading the case. Then, my racing mind came to a screeching halt as it read the magic number . . . 18. A legal adult had been with a legal minor. Things just got complicated.

As a dad with 10-year-old sons, under no circumstances do I want their intimacies leveraged by predators or abusers. I would like to have my sons curtail their sexual experiences until they are at the appropriate emotional, spiritual, and maturely responsible time in their lives. Deciding when that time is likely to differ depending on whom you’re talking to. For the sake of argument, I penciled in age 30 for my boys, but I suspect they might find that a tad unreasonable.

All that being said, here are the facts. Teens have hormones and they are being sexual in some fashion, and in a big way. According to an ABC poll in 2006, “In terms of their own activity, 63 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds say they’ve kissed romantically, rising to 73 percent of those 15 and up. Forty-four percent report sexual touching; among older teens, it’s 55 percent. Nineteen percent of all teens, and 27 percent of older teens, say they’ve had oral sex. As many have had sexual intercourse. “ Birds do it, bees do it, and there is a fifty-fifty chance your kids are doing it, too. The point is, while the girls in this case were doing what half of all teen girls have done, all the activities described in the poll would violate the Florida “lewd and lascivious” law.

There are facts—and then there is Florida law. Unfortunately, the two are not necessarily synonymous. Age of consent laws vary widely from state to state, country to country , culture to culture, and time period to time period. The range for consent goes from as low as 12 years old to as high as 21 years old. For that reason alone, the objective logic and rationale behind these laws are suspect. Even “traditional” thinkers must pause and take note of the fact that the Virgin Mary was divinely impregnated, had given birth, and then had marital sex—all well before her 14th birthday. Under today’s tight scrutiny, Joseph, and possibly even God Himself, would be labeled as a great pedophile.

Online, there is a massive petition in support of Kaitlyn, and even celebrated author Anne Rice has come out in her defense. “It’s outrageous really that anyone would arrest a girl of 18 for relations with a girl of 15. I’ve never heard of a boy being arrested in the same situation, ever.” Anne is wrong, however; boys have been arrested. Anne later also commented, “To criminalize this girl, to force her to register as a “sex offender,” to threaten her with jail is monstrous, and it would be just as monstrous if she were a boy who’d been dating the underage one for two years, too. Laws that criminalize teenage dating like this should be reformed all through our country.”

Support notwithstanding, there is no disputing that Kaitlyn Hunt is in legal trouble and the goodwill may not help her. She was an 18-year-old who had sexual intimacy with a 14-year-old (not 15 as has been speculated). She has plead “Not Guilty”. Legal experts in Florida agree that she may have allegedly violated the laws on the books. She may qualify for the “Romeo and Juliet” exemption, which would not forgive her but would keep her from being labeled as a “sex offender.” That, however, is mostly denied by the courts. Even in the most permissive courts in the state, it is granted only about 24 percent of the time. She is not headed for one of those courts. Can anyone really look at the relationship of these two girls, even with some discomfort, and come to a conclusion that it is worthy of a felony and a lifelong stigma?

One of the other issues in terms of the Florida law, given that older teen and younger teen peers are intermingling frequently throughout Florida high schools, is to whom it is applied and when. County Sheriff Deryl Loar, pursuing Kaitlin’s case, is quoted as saying, “When you have vocal victims, that enhances the case.” So I decided to address the “vocal victims,” parent to parent, in an open letter.

 Dear Mr. and Mrs. S:

I cannot honestly tell you that I know what you are going through. My sons are both 10 years old. As they grow up over the next few years, I do worry about what kind of relationships they will have and their moral, spiritual, and emotional health. I love them more than anything in the world and want only for their well-being, health, and ultimate happiness.

I cannot imagine that you want less than that for C.S. Obviously, you have had a good deal of contention evidenced by the fact that she ran away from your home in January. I imagine that your issue with her sexuality played a part of that situation, and even though I would not agree with your viewpoint that her sexuality is a “choice” as you see it, this letter is not seeking to discuss that issue or to change your views.

It is, instead, a hope and a plea for a reasoned response to her life and situation. Many families who go through the issues your family is facing end when children take to the streets, commit suicide, or experience other tragic results.

I understand that you do not approve of her relationship with Kaitlyn, or the fact that they have been sexual. I likely would feel similarly about one of my sons at 14 having relations with an 18-year-old.

I also understand that you have the law and all its resources on your side. You are not misusing it. It says what it says, and you are operating accordingly.

Here is a principle that I have used with people in life decisions, which I would like you to consider, however: “Would your rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”

I believe that is exactly the question before you right now. The happiness in question is not minor and it is not only your own, but extends to your daughter, her girlfriend, her girlfriend’s family, and the community beyond.

Your daughter was not molested by a preying predator. She was involved in an overly adultlike relationship with another teen. She was not targeted by someone wanting to do her harm. She was embraced, by someone who loved her and wanted good for her.

As I pointed out, you do have laws on your side, and they too can ignore the fact that no one wished to abuse your daughter. I’d like you to answer one additional question: “How can this end well?” If you pursue it as you intend, and you win, will you have created misery for all involved, including yourselves?

One young woman will be imprisoned and tainted with a label for life. Your daughter will have to wade through the quagmire of resentment toward you and how you demolished the tenderness of her first love. If that were not enough, she will have to fight feeling ostracized by all communities, unable to trust or be trusted in relationships, and be plagued by a confused sense of love and abuse.

I could never do that to one of my sons. I pray that you find it in your heart not to do it to your daughter.

There has got to be a better way to work this out. You have the power to be magnanimous and to effect a positive outcome for all.

What is legal is not always what is spiritually right. It is not what will inspire deep and abiding love and respect within your family.

Please find that kindness, fairness, and compassion. Drop the charges, determine a better way to communicate, and help your daughter start a rich and rewarding life.

 

 

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Special thanks to Rachel Hockett for editing help on this article.

 

 

About robw77

A single gay dad who cares. His story can be read here: http://www.imagaysingleparent.com/2013/02/02/rob/ and here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/31/rob-watson-gay-family_n_4689661.html
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198 Responses to A Gay Dad Note to the Parents Who Are Seeking to Devastate Their 15 Year-Old Daughter and Her 18 Year-Old Girlfriend

  1. Five-O says:

    I get that Daddy is standing up for his little girl, but this thing is being tried in the court of public opinion, rather than a court of law. The law is very specific. A 14 year old is not mature enough to make an informed decision with regard to giving consent for the purposes of a sexual relationship, thus is considered Statutory Rape.
    The School Board acted properly when they expelled Kaitlyn for her actions. Lewd and Lascivious behavior in a restroom is the thing we arrest Pervs for at public park restrooms.
    The judicial system is operating properly, because it must enforce the laws, and not allow older people to take advantage of immature 14 year old students, regardless of whether the 14 year old student gave “consent” or not. Regardless of whether the 14 year old is being taken advantage of by a male or a female, whether it is straight or gay sex.

    But what troubles me the most is the laissez faire attitude of so many adults and parents, who think this is perfectly acceptable behavior by 14 year old children. That it’s ok for 14-15-and 16 year old children, to be having sex in school restrooms.
    This goes along with the bigger social and societal issues of condoning improper or bad behavior, not taking responsibility for ones own actions, making comments on facebook and other social media, which glorifies such bad behavior, then taking down the facebook page because people are making “mean” comments to your proclamation on the internet, that you’re a whore, slut, and child rapist and abuser. But why should Kaitlyn take responsibility for her actions, when her father is condoning it, and the masses of misguided people are signing up to be a part of her defense, and log onto her facebook defense page, and signing online petitions, defending her bad behavior, and to bully the States Attorney to stop the prosecution of her crimes.
    In my opinion, the Romeo and Juliet law creates more problems than it solves. It provides a defense, for predators who are within 4 years of age, to coerce a child, who is not capable of formulating an educated decision on consensual sex, rather than enforcing the laws which protect those child victims.

    • So you’re saying the law should be followed mindlessly and thoughtlessly? I don’t think its GOOD thing that our teenagers are having sex, but I don’t think destroying their lives is a smart way to deal with it. What proof do you have that this was a predatory situation? Everything I can find seems to indicate it was not. From what I’ve seen this seems to be a pair of mentally and emotionally equal schoolgirls in love.

      But hey, I’m sure we should ruin this girl’s entire life, and the life of her ‘victim’, who will have to live with the guilt of her own parents using her to destroy her first love’s life, just because she maybe, hypothetically, possibly, COULD HAVE been involved in an unhealthy relationship, even though there doesn’t seem to be any evidence to the contrary. Because innocent until proven guilty is for hippies and liberals, right?

    • I can understand where you’re coming from with your comments. But I think that the majority of people on here are NOT saying that it is OK fro 14-15 year-olds to be having sex, just acknowledging that it is a fact of our times. Additionally, with all the media and information children are exposed to these days, via the media, movies, video games, etc., children these days are often more mature than most of us “Baby-Boomers” were at the same ages. I have heard children as young as five or six using language that I would have never even considered using until after I was well into my late teens, if even then. Today’s Modern Teen is more like a small adult, and less like a child, than the vast majority of us were at the same age. This is not conjecture, it is a PROVEN FACT. This must be taken into consideration before making any judgement calls. And as I said in a previous message, there is NO FORMAL EDUCATION as to what laws magically change when you turn 18, or 21 for that matter. She was young, they were in LOVE, why should she suffer the rest of her life for a mistake that she, most likely, had no knowledge about? What if it was YOUR daughter and someone was trying to ruin her life when she was only 17-18? Are you really that heartless? If so, then you CLEARLY are not a Christian. Also, what about Mary and Joseph? When they were married Mary was most likely about 12-14 years old, and Joseph by all accounts was well into his thirties, literally old enough to be her FATHER. What do you say to that?

      • Devian says:

        She was given ample warning, though, by the school and by the girlfriend’s reaction in early January to what can only be inferred as rebellion against her parent’s forbidding her relationship with an adult with the information we have. Why else would a child who was obviously well-adjusted (varsity sports, advanced classes, all as a freshman) suddenly start acting out?

        • Sensi says:

          Why would she act out? Maybe because she was being forbidden to see someone who she is in love with?

          • Devian says:

            Yes. However, the young lady was 14 when this whole thing began, and the young lady being charged was already a legal adult. Ignorance of the law is not exemption from the law, and the Ms. Hunt was warned at least once that her relationship with the minor was unacceptable – she was removed from the team for this relationship.

      • Stop the bias says:

        Please read the following: http://supporthonesty.net. Kate was made aware that her actions were illegal and she CONTINUED to break the law after that. Are you saying that she should be given preferential treatment with regard to her raping the young child just because she is gay? How hypocritical is that?

        Also, unless you are going to tell me that you think ALL 2000-year old customs should be allowed in today’s society, don’t quote singular instances of millenia-old and out-dated customs that clearly do not apply in modern society (Mary & Joseph).

        Nobody was “trying” to ruin this woman’s life. The parents of the victim and other people made repeated attempts to stop this OUTSIDE the courtroom and WITHOUT criminal charges. But Kate thought that the law didn’t apply to her and could care less about what was right or wrong. She should be punished accordingly.

  2. I agree with you 100%. I sympathize with Kate. I was a heterosexual young girl at one time and involved with someone who age wise I had no business being involved with. The fact remains that it was indeed a crime. I cannot in good conscious support a petition that is not really in good faith. Do I believe that the “victims’ parents are being hateful…absolutely. However, that does not change the fact that Kate committed an act that is indeed against the law. Do I believe that perhasp they are pressing the issue more because of her sexual preference…sure do but even still that still doesn’t change the facts. For every action there is a consequence.

    http://maliykaishealth.com/2013/05/23/why-i-wont-sign-kaitlyn-hunt/

    • Who cares if it was a crime, both of these girls are going to have their lives ruined. You sympathize with her, understand her, wish her luck. And when she is listed as a sex offender and has to, for the rest of her life, live like that, you will feel happy with your lack of support?

      You say you were in her shows once? If so, I hope the both of you had your lives ruined, if you think that’s what should happen to her here. If you don’t think that, then I recommend you think about speaking out in support. Just saying you wish her luck doesn’t mean anything.

      I’m reminded of a favorite saying of mine: “Shit or get off the toilet.” Either you don’t think she should have her life ruined over this, and you should sign the petition and be more supportive of her, or you do, and you should stop acting like you’re all sympathetic.

      • “You hope that the both of us had our lives ruined.” What an interesting thing to say. I am sorry to disappoint you….I did not. While I do hope that they allow for the Romeo & Juliet defense I still will not be signing the petition. Perhaps if the petition actually acknowledged that a “crime” was committed and was truthful then I would. After doing research, the girlfriend is 14 and Kate was already 18. As the petition stands right now, it makes it seem as though there is no merit to the charges. There are.

        I do believe that there should be leniency. If someone writes a petition asking for the Romeo & Juliet defense to be applied I will sign that one. Otherwise, my opinion still stands. I hope that the next time a black boy is charged for having a “minor” girlfriend that the troops are out in full force otherwise this is all hypocritical. Oh and by the way, since you are so concerned I need you to rally behind the Central Park 5. Go figure they served time for a horrific crime they didn’t commit and were brutalized while incarcerated. That’s who I am gong all the way to bat for….THE INNOCENT.

        • Sensi says:

          Ok….lets play the race card just because someone always has to. There are men who get away with dating/having sex with, underage girls every day of the year and they are of ALL races. The fact is her parents are horrified that she is gay and think they can make the “gay go away” if they simply make the 18 year old go away. Four years is NOT that much of an age difference and while I wished that ALL young people saved sex for their wedding day it’s just not going to happen in this day and age, no matter how much we wish it so. They should be punished for the fact that they had sex in school and nothing else.

  3. Rikki Jo says:

    This is not a gay issue….Media turned it into one….It is an issue that in this case the parent and the law is wrong…. I have a 14 almost 15 year old son at said High School and a daughter who is 13… She has a crush on a 16 year old… But myself as a Parent have stepped up and talked to my daughter and has told her he is way to old and if needed I would have that same talk with my son. Yes the law is flawed, Should she have her live branded forever…. NO… Is this a gay issue no… It happens everyday with boys in high school who date younger girls also in high school…. Its the parents who don’t want to believe there child is growing up… It is the facts of life… We as parents need to always talk to our children and make them feel comfortable to talk to us. Instill in them the morals they need and should have. I waited until is was 18 to first have sex, I am happy about that…That’s me, that’s how I was raised… I remember being 13 and in the 7th grade and sitting there listening to my friends talk about sex…weather they were telling the truth or not…They stated that they had indeed had sex…at 13…now have a 13 and an almost 15 year old children it does scare me, but I also know I have taught then well and they will come to me. That is the relationship I have with them. What needs to be done here is we as parents and a community need to help all children in high school not just same sex relationship (I hate the label Gay) and work on getting the law changed….. And as parents step up to understand our children… This is a different time than when we were their age…..

    • I agree. It has nothing to do with same sex. It is AGE, period. She broke the law. Should she be punished. Yes. But to the extent of that they are asking for, No.

      • Becca says:

        Exactly. I do believe she needs to be punished, as I can’t condone getting away with a crime, but the extent to which they are asking for punishment is horrifying. This could easily be dropped to misdemeanor counts (which would be fair to all involved) with conditions/probation and she could move on in life from this. Two felonies for sex offenses? I’m sorry to be realistic, but she will lead a very difficult life with that. I would hate to see the psychological repercussions of ending a girl’s life at a mere 18 years old.

        Again, not condoning breaking the law, but I have a sinking feeling she will be made an example of, namely because it has been turned into a gay rights issue, though we know it’s an age of consent issue – and has nothing to do with her being a lesbian.

      • Steve, Kim and Rikki Jo. You clearly have not read the comments of the younger girl’s parents. They have publicly stated, on numerous occasions, that “She Turned Our Daughter Gay!” They have, in fact, been claiming that against the older girl SINCE THE BEGINNING. To claim that is has nothing to do with sexual orientation shows how little you are paying attention. When a parent or other individual say something like “So-and-so TURNED me gay (which is an impossibility, according to all research) then is CLEARLY is at least in some part about sexual orientation. Anyone who claims otherwise is merely deluding themselves.

        • Devian says:

          Please provide a link where THE PARENTS have been quoted as saying that, not where the HUNTS have said they said that. The only public interview the Smiths have given has been that they are being slandered, that they gave their daughter’s adult lover 2 chances to leave their child alone prior to her coordinating with their child to go behind their back to have sex yet again. Even if they are not to be believed, Ms. Hunt had at least 1 warning away from the child (the basketball coach), and that’s not taking into consideration the idea that, when the Smiths found out, they would not have NOT told their daughter to stay away from Ms. Hunt, at which point, Ms Hunt would have found out.

          • All your arguments are based on what the parents of the younger girl, who are CLEARLY biased and willing to say whatever it takes to make their daughter look like an innocent victim in all this, have said and claimed. They have made it clear that they do not condone homosexuality, in no uncertain terms. Additionally, the younger person is frequently badgered into saying what authorities want to hear, rather than the actual truth. I know this from having counseled at-risk youth, including those charged with sexual offenses. In a VAST majority of cases, the younger party was a willing participant until Mom and Dad found out and badgered them with disapproval, sometimes threatening to throw the youth out of the house. I have read the records of such cases (not this one specific case) and know for a FACT that this happens.

      • Devian says:

        Well, VERY Reverend, have you even read the arrest affidavit? Where, exactly, did the Smiths say that they believe that homosexuality is wrong? From THEIR lips. I do not listen to one side only and take that as gospel truth. I have listened to both sides, and the parents of Ms. Hunt have lied on multiple occasions. I do not trust their words that the Smiths are homophobic alone, and have asked that you provide a quote directly from the Smiths stating anything homophobic. If you would like me to people previously proven to be liars, you need to provide proof that they are telling the truth.

        I also don’t believe everything the Smiths say. However, I have not received evidence that they are lying, and will not assume they are until evidence comes to light. Again, I state, even if the Smiths are not being truthful, Ms. Hunt had ample evidence that the relationship with the child was detrimental and possibly dangerous, but chose to ignore it. I chalk it up to stupid teenager syndrome, but that isn’t a legal excuse.

        While it may be the case that the child was forced by her parents to tell the police what happened, they have that right, and, under similar circumstances, ESPECIALLY after the instance where Ms. Hunt coordinated with the child to disobey the child’s parents to once again engage in sexual activities, I sure as hell would do the same. The child was 14 and had a bright future ahead of her. With the influence of Ms. Hunt, said child began to act out, run away, and now has an entire nation talking about her, even if they’re not using her name.

        • You clearly missed some of the points of my comment. I will agree that teh parents of the younger person have the right to require their daughter to make a Police Report. They do NOT have the right to force or coerce her to make false or misleading statements on the report, even though many parents will do just that in order to “protect our child” or protect their own reputations in a Community. What I said was that the parents of the younger person could very possibly have forced the younger girl to state events the way that THEY wanted, rather than the truth of it having been a mutually consensual situation. In other words, she may have been coerced by her parents and/or authority figures to state events in a certain slant. I have personally seen numerous occasions where the younger “victim” was in all actuality a consenting and willing participant in what would otherwise be a forbidden relationship. And then, under pressure and threat by the parents or law enforcement officials. The younger participant says what they are being forced to say and claim, rather than the truth, because their parents or other authority figures have either badgered them or threatened them with incarceration, being kicked out of their homes, or physical harm. And, if you think that young people do not lie to protect themselves when threatened by parents or authority figures, guess again. You clearly have not worked much with youth.
          As for your emphasis on the VERY in my signature, I am an Ordained Bishop of the Celtic Orthodox Church, and therefore my legitimate Ecumenical Signature is “Very Reverend”. DO not make attempts to be condescending, it is un-Christ-like, and not something a person of intellect should resort to.

          • Devian says:

            The problem with your theory is that the first time the cops heard about what was happening was in a phone conversation between the two. The second time, Kaitlyn Hunt confirmed everything. Please read the police report.

            As for your title, good for you. Education is a terrible thing to waste. I have never claimed to be Christ-like, nor will I, and that is all I will say about your religion.

            As a conversation “between intellectuals,” it would be better if you had all of the facts instead of the lies spilled forth by the parents of Ms. Hunt. You dare to call me one-sided when I present facts to back up my theories. You have not done your research to back up yours, and when I point out the problems, you backtrack and give examples that have nothing to do with this case. The child never stated she was coerced by Ms. Hunt. In fact, by the arrest affidavit, one could deduce that the younger girl was very willing.

            You still have yet to point out where the parents of the other girl were lying or are homophobic. If you want to accuse someone of something, please have the evidence to back it up.

          • What I feel is most important here is, should a young woman’s life be ruined before it has begun because of a mistake made with another high school student. A law which our schools do not automatically teach young people, and which they are expected to automatically know “as common knowledge”. Her parents and she have even offered to move out of state to have a chance at a fresher start, But that was not good enough for the younger girls parents, They want vengeance.

          • Devian says:

            Again, says who. Please point me to EXACTLY where the parents have been anything more than concerned parents? According to all accounts, the charges would have been dropped to a misdemeanor child abuse charge with the possibility of not being labelled a sex offender. Of course they’re not going to let her leave. Since you have so much experience with the judicial system, please tell me: who gets the money while she is paying her probation? The county that she resides in.

            Of COURSE they’re not going to let her go scot free and move to another state! That’s not a punishment at all! She broke the law, with ample opportunity to stop, before the Smiths went to the police. She deserves to be punished. She’s a senior in high school. It is a requirement that all seniors take American Governments, where they are given the resources to research the law for themselves. They are also provided with a teacher, of whom they can ask questions, such as this one. Just because she chose not to research the law does not make her exempt from it. Her plea bargain was a damn good one, and if her lawyer had a brain, she would have seen that. Too bad Ms. Hunt’s family and counsel decided to try her in a jury of the public instead of law, because SHE’s going to pay for it.

    • Mee says:

      You said it all… The evidence is solid… 14-years old!!!!!!!!

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  5. Bex says:

    Realistically, this girl is screwed either way. First, she needed a high-powered attorney, not some local, low-level defense attorney who has no business taking on a case of this magnitude. Her lack of experience was evident in the the press conference. Secondarily, this is Florida! They do not screw around when in comes to broken laws, in particular felonies of this nature. The plea deal is heavily damaging to her future, but there is absolutely no way she could win in trial as the evidence is insurmountable. From what I’ve read of the prosecutor and judge, they do not have any sympathy for sex offenders and go for the jugular in these cases. Also, (someone may have to correct me on this) this is apparently a highly conservative area, so the chances of getting even one liberal-thinking juror is minimal.

    This is just a crappy situation all around. Yes, she needs to follow laws and needs to take responsibility for her actions – that is a given, but I’m not sure how branding her a vicious sex offender (the same brand convicted pedophiles/rapists/child molesters receive) does anything for society – or her – or her alleged victim?

    • CJ says:

      Okay – the correction…. You are right that this is a reasonably conservative area, however, I’ve not spoken to a single person in this area that does not think these charges are absolutely ridiculous. I’m sure there are some that think this is right but I don’t know where they’re hiding.

  6. Katie says:

    “She was not targeted by someone wanting to do her harm. She was embraced, by someone who loved her and wanted good for her.”

    “Your daughter will have to wade through the quagmire of resentment toward you and how you demolished the tenderness of her first love. If that were not enough, she will have to fight feeling ostracized by all communities, unable to trust or be trusted in relationships, and be plagued by a confused sense of love and abuse.”

    So, it’s fair for people in general to have beliefs about what generally defines a good relationship. But this point isn’t something you can argue. 25 year-old soccer coaches and 40 year-old NAMBLA members alike, who have sex with 15 year-olds, make the argument that *they* believe they are being loving and caring and responsibly teaching their victims about their own sexuality. You’re assuming a 17/18 year-old doesn’t have the manipulative power of an adult (how many years?) older than them. But you can’t know this.

    You are assuming this relationship won’t lead to hurt or questions about trust and abuse. I would argue that having any sexual relationship at 14, especailly one with someone substantially older, is going to lead to questions about trust and abuse. At least, by the time she’s been an adult for awhile. It’s true that the penalties for the older girl might be too harsh at the moment, but it’s not true that having a hands-off approach to a 14 year-old having sex is somehow protecting the girl from having questions about trust.

    • Well, the relationship very well could have lead to hurt. If that’s criminal I can sue half my exes for breaking my heart. As for questions about trust or abuse, I would say that you’re the one assuming, as I haven’t seen any reason to believe their relationship had any abusive elements, intentional or not. From most accounts they seem to have been mental and emotional peers.

      • Katie says:

        I agreed that the penalties might be too harsh, I’m not going to argue that she should be a life long registered sex offender. But arguing that this relationship would just be the sweetest darn thing you ever did see if everyone just left them alone has no foundation. I’m saying you can’t know that. (I don’t want to get too anecdotal, but the people I knew who were pursuing sex at 14 and 15 were crazy. I knew people older people, those not not even near 18 and those over 18, who avoided them because the recognized that very level of risk.)

        • Sensi says:

          The problem with your comment, Katie, is that in this day and age at least 80% of 14-15 yr olds are pursuing sex. Are 80% of teenagers crazy? It has more to do with hormones, ect. in our food. Kids are developing faster than ever these days, physically, but not mentally.

  7. To all those posting that an 18 year old is FAR MORE ADVANCED mentally than a 14-16 year old… Do you remember highschool at all? I personally know MANY people who even after graduating were far more immature in most of their actions than some 14 year olds, as well as know some 14 year olds who act more like a grown adult than people my current age of 27. Do not label all of a group of people in an age range (Especially teen years) to be the same developmentally, or you are just proving yourself to be an ignorant fool. I happen to know this 15 year old girls parents, and she has been OPENLY gay for at least 3-4 years now. To them? I cannot know. But to people around her? Yes. This 18 year old girl had her first gay relationship and while age was an issue, How many people can honestly stand here and say they don’t know someone who did the same in highschool? Were they a rapist or a child molester? I highly doubt it. They were kids. 18 years of life does not make you any more grown than 21 does. Most people make stupidly horrible mistakes at that age as well. If she had already graduated and then fell for the girl, I see a problem. But like other comments above, if you want the 18 year olds in school to not interact with people who may be 14, Why are they in the same school, and even the same classrooms??? That’s ridiculous. Pull your head from the hole on your backside and realize that they are hormonal teens and if you put them in the same room, guess what will happen!

    • Seriously. It’s sickening to me how many people are acting like a hormonal 18 year old in love should have acted completely rationally, and that she should be registered as a sexual predator for this. I don’t know how all these people can say with a straight face that people at 18 should be expected to be adults and responsible and mature, its like they were never teenagers themselves.

      • Mee says:

        I certainly can’t say that…I have an 18 year steal my car out of my driveway cause his friend dared him… yeah, and for that I press charges. You better believe if it were my 14-year old, jail would be much too kind.

        Those who are for this obviously don’t have children they really care about!!!

    • ErinS says:

      You took the words right out of my mouth! You and thomas!

  8. iFame Media says:

    It is about the law, not the love of two women. If we are aghast at how the law treats these two, then do something about it and help get the laws changed!

  9. Zach says:

    When I was 15-years-old, I dated a 17-year-old boy. Our relationship was sexual, romantic, and spiritual. Sadly, shortly before he turned 18, his parents sat us down for a discussion that ultimately ended our relationship. They were afraid of possible legal ramifications from my family. They were afraid of something like this. While it made me sad, I understood where they were coming from, and I couldn’t risk that boy being punished just for being with me. Although quite honestly it’s not that uncommon for an 18 year old to date a younger teen. Think about it, ~75% of their peers in high school are younger than them. How can society expect these 18 year old high school seniors to only be with other seniors? You’ve just cut their dating options down by ~75%. I personally don’t know what the age of consent in Florida is, but if this is such a problem, why allow 18-year-olds to be in school with younger teens at all? Why not have schools exclusively for 18-year-olds? Oh wait, that would be outrageously expensive. Therefore, doesn’t it make sense to allow these relationships under certain circumstances (such as both are in high school)? I think it’d be better for all involved, and it would also save the state of Florida a lot of money by not pursuing these cases. Granted, I don’t like Florida due to its archaic homosexuality laws and history of vote tampering, but I can’t hold that against people who live in Florida simply because they were born there and have no means of escape.

    • Katie says:

      I feel I have to respond because you’re arguing as though you’re speaking about straightforward stats and you’re not. I was 18 for half my senior year, (the four months counting down to graduation). I was also 17 for half of my senior year. I was also 15 for half of my freshman year. Most babies are born between June and September, meaning most people actually turn 18 the summer after their senior year. In some states (at least NY and CA) it’s normal to start Kindergarten at 4 (if you turn 5 by the new year) so it’s standard for people to turn 18 after they’ve already started college. I think when discussions like this happen, people tend to forget that grades don’t line up with the ages they think they do, and 14 is a normal age for a middle schooler as well as a freshman. Also, honestly, I don’t think it’s some great rationing of sexual partners to expect seniors to recognize how young freshmen are.

  10. Paula says:

    According to the police report, Kaitlyn’s DOB is 8/14/94. The relationship started around Nov 2012. Kaitlyn was already 18 at this point. Do I agree with FL Laws on this? No, I do not, however, it IS the law. The tragic thing about this is after all is said and done, these two young ladies will deal with it for the rest of their lives. It really doesn’t matter what any of us think.

  11. To everyone who supports this prosecution. Do you really have such little compassion that ruining an 18 year old girl’s life is something you’re willing to do because she made one mistake? Do you really think turning 18 magically turned her into an adult? Do you really think that she deserves to be listed as a sexual predator for the rest of her life, until the day that she dies. That’s a long goddamn time to hold the stigma over an innocent mistake made when she was 18. She hasn’t even graduated highschool and you think its fine and dandy for her life to be over?

    And her girlfriend, well, I guess no one cares about her either. Even though she’s the supposed victim here. She doesn’t want this prosecution and it will not help her. All this will do is make this girl feel like she destroyed the life of the first person she ever loved. She will resent herself and she will resent her parents and she will carry this with her for a long time.

    But oh, I get it, the law is the law is the law. Because the law has never been wrong before, and clearly the only way to apply the law is mindlessly. We certainly should never THINK about how we’re going to apply the law before we do it. Everyone knows its silly to ever question authority. Just keep on blindly applying laws, never thinking about them, never thinking about whether its right or wrong. Just follow the law, don’t rock the boat, don’t make any noise.

    It must be comfortable in your little lives, never thinking and never asking questions. Never wondering if there isn’t a better way to handle things. Never wondering if just because the law says what they did was illegal, and even if it was wrong, that means you should destroy an 18 year old girl’s entire life. Well, its what the law says, so don’t worry about whether this girl is ACTUALLY a predator, and whether or not she’d ever actually hurt another child. She broke the law, so you should bring down the full hammer of the law on her.

    You have fun doing that, at least I’ll be able to look at myself in the mirror and sleep at night.

    • zProdigy99 says:

      explain this to my son who spent 21 days in Juvy and 2 years on probation when he at 18 did the same thing..

      • That’s very sad to hear, though from the sounds of it, the prosecutors in this case are looking to do far worse than that to Kate. I hope things managed to work out for your son. I really don’t think anyone should be treated like some perverted criminal for what amounts to two highschool classmates having a relationship. Perhaps they should have known better, perhaps they shouldn’t have done it, but I don’t think the punishment here fits the crime.

  12. Beth A. says:

    Anyone notice how NO respected newscasters, on any major news outlets, will defend this girl? Legally, how could they? The prosecution has an air-tight case. She broke the law, admitted to sex with an underage girl, is charged with two felonies, but is now yelling about gay rights in order to lower the charges, if not dismiss them.

    How delusional is this family? I am proudly in support of the gay community and always will be, but these are the types of people who ruin equal rights. She IS being treated equally – she broke laws. Why is there any controversy over this?

    Don’t like the age-of-consent laws? Then don’t have sex with your girlfriend until she is of age to consent.

    • suezzzan says:

      Not really when they were having the relationship she was 17!

    • Don’t like gay marriage laws, guess gays shouldn’t get married.

      Do you perhaps see where your logic has some flaws there? Just because something is a LAW doesn’t mean its right. This girl isn’t a predator, she’s a teenager, and if she has to live the rest of her life with the stigma of being a sexual predator, I will have lost the very last shred of faith I had in this system.

  13. Heather says:

    I would never want my 14 year old involved sexually with an 18 year old. Period. Regardless of gender or sexual orientation. As a parent I would exercise legal ramifications if my child continued such a relationship after I had stepped in an said no. That being said, I would not consider the older child a sex offender, nor would I want them jailed and labled for the rest of their life. There has got to be a better resolution here that provides disciplinary action for two children behaving inappropriately with out ruining their lives.

    • Suezan says:

      the 14 year old was with a 17 year old. They both aged one year!

    • I wish these parents would just think of it that way. Even if they disapprove of their relationship, even if they disapprove of homosexuality, is it really all worth ruining this girl’s life?

    • CJ says:

      I don’t see the gender as part of the issue at all. I see it as simply an age issue from the legal standpoint. From the real life standpoint I see it as hateful parents who are no strangers to suing and blaming others. This should have stayed at home. Had I been the 14/15 year old, I would have been the one in trouble with my parents, I would have been on restriction, I wouldn’t have been permitted to see this other person. The most the other person would have gotten would have been a “you stay the hell away from my daughter”. It would only have become a legal matter if the other party was stalking me, pursuing me, forcing me… Guess these parents want to deny reality and continue with the “my child would never..” Yeah, right, most parents who think they have model children would be shocked at what those children do and say when adults aren’t around – even kids who are good kids.

      • Kevin says:

        These parents are going to be sorry when their daughter turns 18 and will not have anything to do with them because of what they have done to her.

  14. Sarah says:

    I really hope you do send this to the parents…you speak the truth, and it was well written. People really shouldn’t crush other’s spirits because they don’t understand the way their child thinks/feels, but I also believe that they shouldn’t have gone that far. I am a teenager myself, and have come to believe through experience that sex in a relationship mearly complicates things until you’re ready.

  15. Katie says:

    This saddens me. I have another angle from which I perceive this that is different than the rest of you who have not been through this.

    My son got the ‘label’ sex offender for having a sexual relationship at sixteen with a thirteen year old (almost 14, but that only ‘comforts’ me to say it, no one else), and to complicate matters, he is also GAY. I found out about both on the same day, although I suspected my son was gay prior to the ‘incident’ that led up to disclosure. His being gay bothered me not ONE bit. It was the offending that did, as well as it SHOULD have.

    And yes, he turned out to be an OFFENDER. But part of this was also sexual confusion and pain over his fear in disclosing his homosexuality, and in the end it still didn’t make his actions okay…

    The reality that he was/is gay wasn’t even an issue. The age difference, WAS an issue. If one does some ‘studying up’ of chlldhood development, one knows that a 14 year CHILD does not have the capacity to understand completely, the decisions that they are making sexually. They are not in a place to decide for themselves based upon a fully developed mind and sexuality. There is a marked difference in psychological/sexual development, between an 18 year old and 14/15 year old. An 18 year old is also going to be much more AWARE of their behavior and the reasons behind it, then a 14/15 year old.

    I understand the ‘arguments’ put forth on every side of this issue. It is not fun to be in the shoes of the parent of the minor child, nor is it fun to be in the shoes of the 18 year old girl. I’ve walked in both. I find it repulsive that homosexuality is brought in as the defining issue, when ultimately, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the reality here. It was inappropriate, in my view, for an 18 year old to be sexually involved with a minor child of 14/15, based on developmental age and process. It wouldn’t matter to me if this girl were a GUY, it’s all the same.

    Something is wrong in this society when we claim that it’s appropriate and ‘normal’ for kids to be having sex so very young. We have to question our parenting too. Education is a critical component for our children, especially at young ages and with what they can handle developmentally, insofar as TEACHING them about sexuality. If you wait for sex ed class to do it for you, you’re probably already in trouble.

    What needs to happen is that parents need to SNAP OUT OF THEIR DENIAL and DISCOMFORT long enough to ‘get’ that if you teach the child about sex and are open to the reality that they will try it, or that they feel ‘different’ with regards to who they believe they are sexually, you are MORE likely to get a kid coming to you to SHARE their intent. If you can listen without freaking out, your education will pay off and they will also be in a better position to defend themselves and to say NO to sex at a young age. When you deny a child an education that should begin at home, about sex, and being comfortable with their sexuality, you are in fact, encouraging them to touch a hot stove, to drive their curiosity to levels of experimentation.

    I’m sorry, but what this girl did was wrong. I’m not in a place to decide if she warrants a label as sex offender, but it certainly does warrant some therapy and some evaluation to make sure she is NOT in fact, a predator. Unfortunately, predatory behavior is NOT uncommon for teenagers, as there are plenty of them in the making. If caught early enough, the recidivism rate is VERY low. Who knows, perhaps this girl was caught in time before she emotionally/sexually wounded anyone else. I find it interesting that people so readily chalk this up to being the actions of ‘two teenagers in love’. That’s a crock of crap. If I were the parents of that minor child, I would certainly at least want an evaluation, not only of my kid, but the other girl as well and I’d sit and take some time to think about how my parenting has affected my kid, on either side of this issue, and what I missed that my kid was involved in such a situation.

    Let’s see how this unfolds. I do not believe that we know everything about this and to project our passionate feelings about it onto either of these girls is probably not a good idea at the moment when we really don’t have all the pieces of information we need to make a clear and informed decision about it.

    • Kerry says:

      Best comment on here. Much better stated than I could have ever done.

    • SBF says:

      Thank you for sharing your story. I could, point by point, say why I agree with every line, but that would become a novel.

      Needless to say, my issue has zero to with her sexuality, and frankly (in this case) sexual orientation is irrelevant no matter how this story is incorrectly spun. My issue is the culpability factor and the issue of using gay rights to excuse, enable and ultimately attempt to relieve her of her felony charges and personal responsibility in the matter.

      People consistently bring up why the law is wrong, etc…, but that isn’t relevant, as she broke the law as it is presently written. I cannot condone an adult having sexual contact with a minor, under any circumstances, regardless of how antiquated a law may be. As someone mentioned below, this actually sets back the LGBT movement, as the family is essentially asking for preferential treatment for their daughter.

      Just my opinion, but her parents are condoning what she did, and if anything, they are making statements on their Facebook page that are contrary to the police reports. Isn’t part of parenting teaching your children right and wrong, truth, and not enabling illegal behavior? To teach a teenager you can get away with murder by placing the blame on others is deplorable.

      The other family involved may be despicable bigots, but they didn’t get Kate arrested; Kate’s actions got her arrested. Until her “supporters” are willing to face reality, stop enabling, learn how the legal system works, and can comprehend what personal responsibility means, their support only furthers the notion that the gay community wants preferential treatment (which I know they don’t.)

      If this girl had an excellent attorney, he/she would advise her to take the (fair) plea bargain, take responsibility for her actions, and move on from this.

    • I’m sorry for how your situation turned out, but you clearly don’t remember what it was like to be a teenager. You don’t think ahead as a teenager, you don’t think of consequences. From all reports, the younger girl in this scenario looked older than she was and was mature for her age. Even if you believe that doesn’t EXCUSE Kate’s behavior, how can you POSSIBLY suggest that it makes her a predator? She was a teenager, romantically and sexually involved with someone who was only a few years younger than her, and seemed to be very much her peer.

      Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was wrong, maybe it wasn’t. It sure as hell doesn’t make this girl a predator, that’s for certain. And if you never made a mistake when you were a teenager, then I can only ask what its like up there in Perfect Land.

    • Jodie says:

      A very intelligent,well put and caring reply to a very tragic and confusing situation.

  16. puellamagi says:

    I met my boyfriend in high school and he is a little less than a year older than me. For the first two years, we could have legally had sexual contact. Then, under this law, for eleven months it would have been illegal. How, on his eighteenth birthday, would my boyfriend have suddenly transformed into a sexual abuser? These girls were minors when they started dating, too. How does this make any sense at all?

    I recognize the need to have laws and draw lines, so that we can prosecute real abusers. But to apply these laws without thinking is not justice. It’s just legal action for the sake of legal action. These are cases that require actual thought. You can’t just look at the ages and declare abuse, that’s completely illogical. It really frightens me when people put “The Law” above everything else, including the judgment of reasonable people.

    • Maria says:

      At the very least, this case is drawing light to a ridiculous law. And as Anne Rice stated, that needs to be changed. Romeo and Juliet should be implemented more. The sex offender list is for actual sex offenders i.e. one person “preying” on a significantly younger person. Not two young girls who both played for the same basketball team, and who at the time when the relationship started were both minors.

    • Thank you, this this this! I can’t stand people who say “its the law, she broke the law!” like that’s the end of the story. There are REAL abusers out there, REAL predators, and the cops and lawyers should be focusing on THEM, not an 18 year old girl with no indicators WHAT-SO-EVER of being an ACTUAL sexual predator.

      People should never tolerate injustice, especially when it touts itself as justice.

      • Devian says:

        Yes, there ARE real predators out there, and if the DA drops the charges, it sets a legal precedence for REAL sexual predators to go free. The law is there for a reason.

  17. Maria says:

    This letter is very thought-provoking, I couldn’t hope for it to be written better. However, consider the fact that the 15 yr. old girl’s parents waited patiently until Kate turned 18 – then boom. That to me is very, very malicious, and malicious people don’t tend to stop when they clearly have the upper hand and say “Hey, you know what, I’m going to reflect on that, and I’m going to be kind”.

    I can only hope for the best though.

    • Kerry says:

      Read the police report, no they did not wait for her to turn 18, sexual relationship began end of December, police report filed in Beginning of February.

      • Maria says:

        If it was filed before she turned 18, then shouldn’t she be tried as a juvenile? Why was there such a lapse when if all things considered, it should’ve been a simple matter. Can you please give a link or what for that police report? From what I’ve read, the relationship began at 17 and 14. Now they’re 18 and 15 – roughly a two and a half year difference. What is also strange is that there are so many conflicting version out there.

        • Kerry says:

          According to the Free Kate facebook page by her parents (link is on this page already) they met at beginning of current school year, at that time they would have been 14 and 17. Kaitlyn then turned 18 sometime prior to December and in December the relationship turned sexual for the first time according to the police report (links have been posted to report or you can do a google search for it), there were additional sexual incidents, including when the other girl ran away in January and spent the night at Kaitlyn’s, police report was filed in beginning of February. So everyone that is saying the parents waited until she turned 18 to report it are wrong. For all we know the parents had told her to stop the relationship in January and that is why she ran away and maybe the parents did try to tell Kate to end the relationship prior to calling police and she wouldn’t. Even if the parents did wait until she turned 18 if the sexual contact had happened prior to her turning 18 just because she turned 18 would not make those prior incidents illegal, it would only be those that happened after she was 18.

      • Maria says:

        Ah. I am a member of the same page. So you should have also seen Kate’s parents saying that as parent to parent, they could have talked about this, but that never happened. This might have not escalated the way it did. In any event, it does bear noting that for almost a year, they just “disapproved”. Then after Kate turned 18, that’s when they pressed legal charges. If they had pressed charges when she was 17, then she could’ve been tried in juvenile court, and we wouldn’t be here. Gah! It is what it is.

        • Kerry says:

          How is 2 months almost a year? Sexual relationship began December 2012 police report filed and arrest made February 2013 that is little more than 2 months. Even if you want to assume relationship began on first day of school year (end of August at earliest and usually middle of September) that is still only 6 months total. I know that I am unaware of my kids “relationships” for at least the first month as that is how teens are so now you are down to 5 months. They met at school so it is unlikely that they started dating the day they met, probably at least 2 weeks so now less than 5 months. I think it is a safe assumption that this was the other girls first same sex relationship so she probably went out of her way to hide it from her parents, so in all likely hood it is probably less than 3 moths that the other parents were aware of the relationship. That is nowhere near a year.

          Since there was no sexual relationship when Kate was a minor no charges could have been filed against her. She made bad choices. Bad choices have consequences. 14 year old is going to have lots of issues both in school and at home for a long time because it is obvious her parents do not approve of her sexual orientation, but I bet any future girlfriend she has will be more careful if she is over 18.

    • Rebekah says:

      Malicious or not (and I do believe they are bigoted and malicious), Kate committed two felonies. She wouldn’t be in this position if she had waited until her girlfriend was old enough to consent. Adult decisions = adult consequences. Welcome to adulthood where you can’t follow your own rules anymore.

      • HEY REBEKAH- THIS IS ANOTHER REBEKAH ( STOP GIVING ME A BAD NAME PLEASE)- SHE WOULDN’T BE IN THIS POSITION HAD THE BIGOT HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL COACH BEHAVED IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER AS A RESPONSIBLE TEACHER SHOULD AND INTERVENED WITH KINDNESS AND COMPASSION FOR TWO TEENS. ALSO THIS IS A VERY GOOD LETTER THAT SPEAKS TO THE HEART.THE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE OTHER GIRL IF HER PARENTS DO NOT CHOSE TO RETRACT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE ARE GOING TO BE SO DETRIMENTAL FOR HER EMOTIONALLY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE- ADULT CONSEQUENCES OF ADULT DECISIONS MADE FOR A TEEN- SAD OUTCOME. I THINK ANY PARENT THAT WOULD READ THIS LETTER WOULD PAUSE AND TAKE A DEEP BREATHE AND TRY TO GAIN INSIGHT!LOVING PARENTS – TRULY LOVING PARENTS CAN SAY PERHAPS I CAN DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO TRY TO MAKE THIS OUTCOME FOR ALL BETTER.

      • LetParentsBeTheFreakingParents says:

        omg thank you. Someone with some common sense!!

      • Wow, welcome to adulthood? She’s not going to have an adulthood. You think this is okay? She just turned 18 and these people want to make sure that the rest of her life is OVER. Every hope and dream she may have had is going to be so, so, SO much harder now, if not impossible. That’s, of course, all assuming she doesn’t wind up giving up.

        Adult decisions = adult consequences my ass. I don’t know how old you are but you clearly don’t remember what it was like to be 18. An 18 year old is NOT an adult, whatever the law says, an 18 year old is a stupid kid who thinks they’re an adult.

        You really think she deserves, practically the moment she turns 18, to have her entire life destroyed because of this one bad call? A bad call motivated by love and passion, two of the most blinding forces known to man?

        I honestly can’t think of a better word for that than heartless, just straight up heartless.

  18. This is NOT a gay rights issue! Stop using it as an excuse! says:

    She was NOT arrested for being a lesbian or for being in a homosexual relationship. Based on the police report, (which is online) she had sexual contact with a minor. This is a FELONY that needs to be prosecuted consistently regardless of whether you’re male, female, gay, straight, transgender, black, white, etc…

    She violated age of consent laws thus breaking the law. End of story. And to use gay rights as an excuse sets back the gay rights movement and is deplorable.

    She made a large mistake, one that will affect her for the rest of her life, but for goodness sake, if you don’t want felonies follow the laws correctly!

    • Madison says:

      Please think about the logic that should be behind these laws that simply isn’t there. Imagine two teen begin dating while one is thirteen and the other is fourteen. They manage to maintain their relationship throughout high school and are very comfortable with each other. They begin having sexual relations with one another at the ages of fifteen and sixteen. Two years later, one of them turns eighteen. You expect them to just drop what they’re doing? Why? Because it suddenly became a felony for the older teen to touch the younger one? Sorry, but that definitely doesn’t qualify as pedophilia in my book. There is absolutely nothing wrong with two teenagers being engaged in a relationship with each other. If the girl was having sex with a seven-year-old? Yeah, it’s time to be concerned. If she was forty-eight and having sex with a fifteen-year-old? Again, a time to be concerned. But eighteen and fifteen? Leave them be. There should be an age gap exception for teens who are just a few years apart.

      • Rebekah says:

        The point is, it doesn’t matter what “should be” (at least until someone lobbies it.) What matters in this case, is what the law is NOW. She didn’t follow the law as it is presently written.

        Of course there’s nothing wrong with teenage relationships, but there *is* something wrong when you have a sexual relationship with someone unable to consent (according the law.) It’s an unfortunate situation, but there are consequences to actions.

      • Kerry says:

        If you start dating someone at 14 and continue dating them until after you turn 18 and you are arrested for unlawful sex with a minor a charge of extreme stupidity should be added as well. The only way these cases are when the parents call the police, almost exclusively. If you have been dating someone for over 4 years and do not understand that the parents do not approve of the relationship you are clueless and need a good wake up call and if you have been dating someone for 4 years and know the parents do not approve of the relationship and then you turn 18 and still have sex and let the parents find out you are to stupid to be allowed in public and should be sent to jail for that reason alone.

    • Maria says:

      Not for the police, now. As stated in the letter, they clearly have the law right, however ridiculous that law may be. As for the parents…. I can’t say this as FACT, but multiple media outlets and some statements from the people that know them firsthand have said that they believe Kate caused their daughter to be gay. Take Kate out of the picture, and their daughter becomes… Straight? Sounds like homophobia to me.

      • SBF says:

        But, she wasn’t arrested for homophobia, she was arrested for having sex with a minor. It doesn’t matter if the other family is bigoted (which they are), laws were broken. That’s all that matters in the eyes of the law.

        As for her parents, I’ve looked at their Facebook page and they keep changing their story and writing blatant misinformation. So, I would take anything they write with a grain of salt. They are seeking sympathy for their daughter by screaming “gay rights!”, when we all know, her being a lesbian didn’t get her arrested. Her action did.

    • And you think making a mistake at the age of /18/ should mark her for life? What’s it like up there in Perfect Land where you can do no wrong? This girl is clearly not a predator, and marking her at one is nothing but cruel. If you think she deserves for her life to be ruined because she fucked up in HIGHSCHOOL, than I’m sorry, but I’m just not heartless enough to agree with you.

      Using that logic, if gay marriage is illegal where someone lives then, well, I guess they shouldn’t get married, huh? Cause the law is always 100% right and never wrong, right?

  19. In Florida state law says 13-17 legal. 15-18 illegal. 16- 24 legal. Does this seem fair? two high school kids shareing classes can’t be in a relationship but a 24yr old college grad can have one with a 16 yr old high school sophmore?

  20. The question is, as a parent how far are you willing to take this. The 18 yr old agreed to end it and even move out of state. She is scared. A scared child. To everyone, including the victims parent, imagine the roles were reversed. If your 18 yr old child had relations with a 14 or 15 yr old minor that they met in high school which they shared classes and sports teams with, would you be ok with them facing a felony conviction and sex offender label for the minnimum 10 yrs under floridas romeo and juliet law? They are kids. I think the point has been proven with out ruining their life before it had a chance to be started. Just remember it could be your child faced with this issue down the road

  21. Jeanette Victoria says:

    If one reads the criminal affidavit Kate initiated sex in a public restroom at her school. That alone is vile. But she made her victim’s first sexual experience a perverted one. That is simply evil and it says a lot about her parents lack of morals that don’t see anything wrong with their adult daughter initiating a minor into perverted homosex

    • April Spencer says:

      Why are you even on this page? You are obviously either a homophobic troll or a prude.

    • Owen says:

      Who gave you the right to judge, let alone publicly

    • IOnlyLoggedOnToReplyToThisBitch says:

      I’m a chick. never in my life have i wanted as much to say something crass like “that’s not what your mom was calling it when i fucked her last night” as i do right now. please. gtfo.

      • Maria says:

        That. That is awesome.

        Anyway, it’s in my understanding that the other girl was much bigger than Kate, so it’s kind of hard for me to imagine Kate doing all the initiating, even if she is older. But alas, that is besides the point. I didn’t know Amish people like Jeanette Victoria had Internet connection.

    • Gabe says:

      Well, you’re clearly unbiased. Perverted homosex is something an unbiased person would say.

    • YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TEENS AND REALITY. LOTS OF THINGS GO ON IN HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOMS ACROSS AMERICA! SOME OF MY BEST EXPERIENCES HAPPENED IN MY HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOM.- ONE WAS WITH MY SISTER WHEN WE REALIZED WE WERE AT A BASKETBALL GAME AND BOTH MEETING THE SAME GUY- SHE KNEW HIM BY HIS KNICK NAME AND I KNEW HIM BY HIS REAL NAME- WE WERE PUTTING ON OUR MAKEUP WHEN IT HAPPENED AT THE BATHROOM SINK AT OUR HIGHSCHOOL.IT WAS QUITE A MOMENT FOR US AND OUR FRIENDS. WHAT A FUNNY TME. ANOTHER HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOM EXPERIENCE WAS RELATED TO A RACE RIOT- ! WE ALL MET IN THE BATHROOM TO HATCH OUR PLAN ON HOW TO BEST DEAL WITH EVERYONE’S SAFETY. SMOKING- SEX AND TALKING ABOUT OUR TEACHERS- LOTS OF GREAT DECISIONS HAPPEN IN THE HIGH SCHOOL AND SCHOOL BATHROOMS. HAVING A FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE IS NOT PERVERTED BY WHERE IT HAPPENS- YOU MAY WANT TO READ UP ON A FEW GOOD SEX BOOKS JEANETTE. YOU SEEM UPTIGHT AND VERY OUT OF TOUCH WITH THE REALITY THAT SEX SHOULD BE FUN! SO SAYING “IT SAYS ALOT ABOUT HER PARENTS LACK OF MORALS” THERE WERE TWO GIRLS INVOLVED THAT MADE THE CHOICE HERE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE ACT IN THE BATHROOM, NOT ONE SO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BOTH SETS OF PARENTS OBVIOUSLY. OH AND THAT BATHROOM VILE PLACE-. LOTS OF OTHER FUN THINGS HAPPENED THERE TOO. LOTS AND LOTS OF GREAT MEMORIES. SORRY YOU DID NOT HAVE THEM AND CANNOT RELATE. YOUR INABILITY TO UNDERSTAND TODAY’S AND YESTERDAY’S TEENS IS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THE VERY PROBLEM IN OUR SOCIETY. OH AND BY THE WAY- MANY STUDENTS HAVE SEX IN AMERICAN HIGH SCHOOL BATHROOMS- ! SILLY JEANETTE- I INVITE YOU INTO REALITY.

      • Alex says:

        Stop screaming. Do you really believe anyone can read a pile of crap, written in all caps, with no punctuation?

        You must be part of the “Free Kate” group. None of them can write proper English, none know legal procedure, none can comprehend this is not a gay rights issue, and all make excuses for illegal behavior. Go back to your ignorant group and whine there.

      • JamieMSL says:

        ^^ Illiteracy at its finest.

    • DJ Loggins says:

      Where is this information coming from? The accused, or her accusers? If the accusers, I personally would be suspicious of the quality of that information. They may be calling it intercourse, when it was actually nothing more than a kiss. Unless you have ALL of the FACTS, not conjecture, do not talk about someone being vile. BTW-, I presume you proclaim to be a Christian and God-Fearing. What about “Judge NOT lest ye be Judged, for as you judge others, so shall your father in Heaven Judge you ..

      • Kerry says:

        Read the actual police report and you will know exactly where the information comes from. It is not difficult to find as there are several links on this blog and it is easy to find with a search.

      • EMcCall says:

        Kate admitted to have sexual relations with the minor, which included penetration with her fingers. That is NOT kissing.

        Learn how to read an arrest report, as it is all written there in plain English.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          Having both a Legal AND Ministerial background, I DO know how to read a police report. this report has incompletions as it refuses to indicate who the affiant was. Additionally, may consenting teens, when pressured by their parents, will “cry wolf” when in actuality they were consenting and willing participants in the actions. I have worked with many young men accused of rape and sentenced to time in a lock-down psychiatric treatment facility, and if one actually READS the young men’s files, it shows that IN THE VAST MAJORITY of cases, the other person was willing and consensual until they incurred the wrath of the parents, who then proceeded to frighten and intimidate the child into saying it was all the other person’s doing. And anyone that thinks that someone of 14 does not know what they are doing is fooling themselves. A fourteen year old today is, thanks to the internet, movies, television and media, often FAR more mentally developed than many of us were at 14. People say very little about 14-15 year olds having children, so much so that many school districts have coordinated special programs specifically to help handle the situation of teen Pregnancy. If it had only been the elder doing things to the younger, there MIGHT be some validity to your points. But all indications are that this was CONSENSUAL, and NEVER forced.

      • Kerry says:

        DJ Loggins you obviously do not know how to read the report. Even though I called it a police report it is actually and affidavit for arrest. The “affiant” is the person by definition is the person submitting the affidavit for arrest for approval. The affidavit is signed by the detective that investigated the complaint. Just by reading the entire report it would be very easy to determine that the “affiant” was a law enforcement personnel for the simple fact that he states he arrested Kaitlyn on 2/16/13. If the signature at the bottom of the report or the other obvious indications are not indicitave of who the affiant is continuing this is pointless as your poor comprehension will make it impossible for you to ever understand anything.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          The signature at the bottom is from the Detective that did the report. I know how to read, probably better than you do. I have an advanced Degree in Divinity, so I think I can probably read things with words that you could not even pronounce. the two signatures at the bottom are the Detective and the Notary. NOWHERE does it say “affiant”.

          • Kerry says:

            DJ Loggins obviously you have both reading and comprehension problems. Directly under the “co-defendant” section is the following statement “Your affiant, a detective with the Indian River County Sherriff’s Office.” I would say that pretty much directly identifies who the affiant is. Even if that statement was not there anyone with a 10th grade education should be able, by the context in which “affiant” is used throughout the document, the fact that the document is an affidavit and the statement that the preceding is true and correct to knowledge in the signature section that the affiant is the person preparing the affidavit. If you are to ignorant or stubborn to see this then I doubt you have a high school education much less an advanced degree in anything. I have an MBA and a CPA license and was able to determine who the affiant was without someone else pointing out every clue so I am pretty sure my reading comprehension is better than yours.

      • DJ, I have absolutely no way I can put this delicately. You are a moron. For someone to claim the have a legal background and yet can’t read a police report says a lot. The affiant is not confidential, you putz. Look at the bottom of the report. What’s that? Well, I declare! It’s the affiant’s signature!

        And for you to say “it was just a kiss” when the report details Kaitlyn placing her fingers (and later a vibrator) into this young girl’s va-jay-jay tells me you haven’t read the police report at all. In short, you are a liar which makes anything you say at this point irrelevant.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          The signature line at the bottom says “Signature”, not affiant. Additionally, resulting to insults is the sign of a desperate person with a poor argument. I will admit error about what happened in the bathroom. But one has to also wonder how much of Kaitlyn’s testimony was forced or coerced by the badgering of the investigating Detective, who more than likely, considering the area of this occurrence, has had absolutely no sensitivity training towards LGBTQ people. People have been badgered for years into admitting to crimes that they did not commit, either because of threats or badgering. This was an innocent love affair between two young girls who were classmates. It’s not like Kaitlyn was stalking the younger girl. Their encounters were all CONSENSUAL. That is no reason to mark someone who made a simple error in judgement (which, being enamored of the other young lady, probably never entered into her mind, since the attraction was clearly mutual) to label her as a lifelong Sexual Predator, and lump her in the same group as 50-year-old men chasing 10-year-old girls.boys. Are you truly that heartless?. These girls were classmates, even had some of the same classes, and were less than three years apart IN THEIR AGES. Additionally, since when did any high school student get Legal lessons before their eighteenth birthday as part of the standard curriculum. “By the way, once you turn 18 you can no longer do these things you were able to do the day before you turned 18.” Most eighteen year olds are ignorant of many of the laws on the books. Did YOU know all the Laws relating to Adults vs. Minors when you turned 18? Probably not.

    • Wow, I didn’t know neanderthals could type! Remarkable!

  22. Heather says:

    I’ve known plenty of people while growing up who were 14/15, involved with 18/19 year olds.. straight, gay, bi-sexual.. they all turned out just fine. When you’re 18, you’re a baby as well. We’ve all been there. These laws are too harsh and screwed up. There’s much worse going on in the world to but into this girl’s business. She isn’t a pedophile or molester, she just fell for someone a few years younger than her. I knew a girl who was 18 and she was with a 26 year old, but somehow that was totally appropriate, right?
    I feel bad for everyone butting into her life.

  23. Are you seriously kidding me?

    Let me spell this out for you, okay?

    THIS IS A 14-YEAR-OLD GIRL. SHE IS A MINOR CHILD. What you are suggesting to her parents is to give this relationship, which is illegal regardless of the genders of those involved, their blessing.

    NO.

    Mr. and Mrs. S. are not this girl’s pals. They are her PARENTS. It is not their job to make sure their daughter is happy. It is to create boundaries, and know when to say NO. If they say no to this relationship (and why any reasonable person would say otherwise is not merely beyond me, but they should also be like the sun, as in they should be exactly 93,020,000 miles away from me) and they want this legal adult removed from her life, guess what? THAT IS THEIR RIGHT. Why? Look above. 14. Minor. Get the picture?

    • Kerry says:

      Finally someone else on here understands reality.

    • pourcelaine says:

      So it was okay a few months ago when she wasn’t 17. Her parents had no legal right to sue. But now, that she has turned 18, it’s magically no longer okay and the parents magically have every right to destroy this girls life and their daughter’s happiness. How can you seriously defend that?

    • DJ Loggins says:

      Mr. Mason. I would agree with you if the relationship had commenced when one was 18 or over, and the other was not. Such is NOT the case. And clearly you have now children. The GREATEST WISH any parent can have for their child it their happiness.

    • Junoh says:

      If they’re dating then there are no issues. The courts would have to prove that they had sexual contact with each other while the older of the two was 18. Otherwise there would be no case. The one thing that would save her is if she says “we had no sexual contact after my 18th birthday”. Afterwards, it would be up to the 14 year old girl to testify in court since she’s the only person who could be considered a witness to that specific statement.

    • Bruce says:

      Ok, sounds like you do NOT know everything about the case. Yes she is 18, NOW, but the relationship started when she was 17. The other girl’s parents sat by and waited and ambushed Kate when she turned 18. And I propose to you, if you are so high and mighty about when they had a consenting sexual intercourse relationship, please tell the world what age you were when you had intercourse, the first time.

      • Kelsey says:

        Even if you think the parents should act the way they did, do you really think that will stop there daughter from ever having sex again? No. Holding her back and telling her not to do something will only cause her to do it more. She will grow up to hate her parents for doing this to her and want nothing but to disobey them. I know this because I am a teenager, and I know how it feels to have someone to tell you not to do something you want to do. And if the point of them doing this was to stop her from having sex with a girl then they are defiantly in the wrong. Her sexuality is her sexuality and that will not change. I feel like the parents are just using this law to their advantage. I believe if two teenagers are in high school at the same time as one another they in no way should be slammed with these kind of charges, whether male or female. Anger parents should not to be able to ruin a life like this.

      • Read the police report.

      • Devian says:

        Bruce and Junoh: Kaitlyn admitted to having sexual relations with her girlfriend twice while the police listened in. The relationship may have started when Kaitlyn was 17 and the minor was 14, but the acts in question only started after Kaitlyn turned 18, the first in a school bathroom while the minor was still 14. The parents waited six months after Kaitlyn’s 18th birthday to bring the charges. If Kaitlyn had been thinking clearly, she would have seen the evidence of parental disapproval (the girlfriend running away from home is the first instance that comes to mind) and broken up with her girlfriend in name and act (meaning no longer girlfriends and no longer engaging in sex acts) until the minor turned 16, at which time it would be legal for them to be together.

        Kaitlyn Hunt broke the law, and as such, should be punished. I do believe that the Romeo and Juliet clause should take effect because it does not seem like she was a sexual predator by accounts I have read. However, if the D.A. lets her off, it sets a legal precedence by which actual sexual predators could also get set free. No prosecutor in his/her right mind would let something like that slip through the cracks, especially considering this country’s views on children and sexuality. Considering it’s Florida, former home to such wonderful people like John Couey, and current home to Casey Anthony (which is still a fresh wound), Kaitlyn Hunt is going to be found guilty if she doesn’t take the plea bargain. The same plea bargain that will allow her to continue going to school and work instead of prison. The same plea bargain that would allow the judge to CHOOSE whether or not to grant her the Romeo and Juliet clause, instead of automatically labeling her a sex offender.

    • Lisa says:

      People like you just ruin everything. You don’t see the whole picture do you? If the parents were so concerned for their daughter, THEY should have never gone this far. In the end, Both girls lives are going to be ruined! If I was in this situation, and my daughter was not harmed and I was not happy with whom she was dating, I’d go to the other persons parents, and go from there. They went a little too far. They are going to ruin her life over a law. When you were in high school did you think about who you could and could not date? why would you? your in school together, same classes, same sports same friends.

    • No. This is not about allowing the relationship to continue. This is about ruining someone’s life to prove that it isn’t right. I do not agree it should be allowed to continue, but if the felony and sex offender status goes through you ruined someone’s life before they got out of highschool! This is unjust. Imagine if it was your child. This should of been settled between the parents. Kate’s parents even offered to move her to another state but that isn’t good enough apparently, her life has to be ruined in the process. Shame on them for believing that is just.

      • One last time. Read the police report. It tells you the facts, not the lies that are being fed to you by apathetic fools and pedophile apologists. The link is right up above. If you don’t bother to read it I have nothing more to say to you.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          Conveniently, it does not state who the Affiant was, which is suspect in and of itself. If the affiant was the parents of the younger girl, then the report would be biased and slanted against the older girl. ADDITIONALLY, if all this happened back after Christmas, why did hte parents wait so long. Too much is contrived in this matter. The delay before filing, the declared stance of the younger girl’s parents in regards to homosexuality, their claim that the older girl “turned our daughter gay”. That i pure hate-speech. It has been MEDICALLY and PSYCHOLOGICALLY PROVEN, you CANNOT “turn someone gay” anymore than you can successfully “turn someone straight”.

          • Kerry says:

            By default the affiant is the detective as it is an affidavit in support of issuing an arrest warrant. As to why so much time, the 1st time was around Christmas and the police report was in February, less than 2 months time, do you really think she went running home and told her parents what happened? Of course she didn’t they may not have found out about the sexual conduct until the day the report was filed for all you know so there could be no delay if that was the case.

          • Kerry says:

            Oh and also if you look at the information provided right below the blacked out victim name box, the probable cause statement, the very first line states that the affiant is a detective with the sheriff department assigned to investigate the case, so the assumption that the detective named as arresting officer is the affiant is a pretty solid idea.

    • StephD says:

      They were both minors when this all started. Now that Kate is 18, they bring the hurricane of crap. If the other girls parents didn’t like the relationship from the begining, then yes they could say NO. MY parents did when I dated a BOY that they didn’t like and FORBID me to see. That is what good parents do. Not destroy an innocent girls life because she: “turned my daughter gay”. That is a laughable statement. Their own daughter owns her part in the consensual relationship, and her own parents do not listen to her. I see this ending in disaster for the 15 year olds parents. Resentment from their daughter, etc… Also, if they dont want their daughter dating someone older, then they should have said something earlier on. Also, these girls met at high school. The 15 year old was taking advanced classes. A great way to mix with an older crowd. Parents should have thought of that to. If they want to protect their daughter from so-called predators, then they needed to take steps to ensure that.

      • Sadly, it has been stated that the sexual portion of the relationship started soon after the 18th birthday. if the law doesn’t want 18 yr old high school students to have relationships with underclassmen, they should be seperated and put in their own school.

    • Justin Cronk says:

      I disagree on many points. First off, it is a parents job to make sure their children are happy. It is also to set boundaries, granted, but the two aren’t mutually exclusive. All this man is saying is there might be a better way of handling this than legal action, and the consequences that come along with it. He’s not suggesting they just let it happen, and even says it is their right to pursue legal action. Being labelled as a sex offender is a serious thing, however and this was a consensual relationship between two people that were merely 3-4 years apart. It can be argued that is wrong, and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree. I do not, however, feel it warrants that degree of punishment. That’s all this article is saying. It IS their right to do what they think is best for their child, and to use all resources available to them. There just has to be a better way than ruining the life of one, and very possibly both, of those girls lives. Do you REALLY think it’s worth it?

    • YOU COULD NOT BE MORE WRONG ABOUT SAYING IT IS NOT THEIR JOB TO MAKE SURE THEIR DAUGHTER IS HAPPY. IT IS THEIR EXACT AND MOST IMPORTANT JOB! HAPPY IS A VITAL PART OF LIVING AND THEY COULD MAKE HAPPINESS AND STILL CREATE BOUNDARIES. GOOD LOVING PARENTS KNOW HOW TO DO BOTH. YOU CANNOT CONTROL BUT CAN GUIDE- RAISING A CHILD IS ABOUT THEIR SOUL AND HEART IN THE PROCESS. THE HURT THIS OTHER GIRL.C.S. KNOWS WAS VERY UNNECESSARY AND A HUGE MISTAKE ON THE PART OF HER PARENTS- I ONLY WISH THEY COULD STEP BACK AND SEE IT. MOTHER OF 4 ADULT SONS AND A FOSTER SON, I KNOW THIS TO BE TRUE. I LEARNED IN COLLEGE -ALWAYS QUESTION AUTHORITY- BECAUSE AUTHORITY CAN BE WRONG. MY PARENTS WERE WRONG MANY TIMES AND WERE ABLE TO ADMIT IT. ADMITTING WE HAVE MADE A MISTAKE IS TRULY A SIGN OF MATURITY AND I AM SURE THAT C.S. IS BEGGING FOR IT FROM HER PARENTS, IN HER HEART AS SHE ENDURES THIS MESS UP HER PARENTS CREATED..

    • Cause, ya know, what’s GREAT for a kid’s development is destroying their first love;’s life and making them feel like it was their fault. This kid is going to grow up SUPER AWESOME!

      Seriously, are you FUCKING. KIDDING ME!? How can ANYONE but the most heartless pieces of shit in the world POSSIBLY condone ruining an 18 year old’s life AND a 15 year old’s in the process. These are both kids and you sick bastards seriously want that to be it!?

      Ya know, there was a shred of me that had some faith in humanity left, congrats on destroying it. Seriously, GG guys.

      If anyone thinks my language is a little vulgar, maybe I’m losing my cool… ya know what, you’re damn right. I am losing my patience with this, this is disgusting and I am seriously about to puke reading all these hateful comments.

      An 18 year old makes a mistake, and you all want to throw her to the wolves. I thought we were better than that, I really did. When the dust settles, and these kids lives are ruined, I hope you all are super happy and pat yourselves on the back for a job well done.

  24. Richard Lewis says:

    “Can anyone really look at the relationship of these two girls, even with some discomfort, and come to a conclusion that it is worthy of a felony and a lifelong stigma?”
    Sadly there are many who can. Go out and read some of the message boards. We live where we live. We are what we are. Wrong or right has nothing to do with it; it’s a Confederacy of Dunces and we all must live under it’s flag.
    That’s no excuse for not giving a damn about this case and the many others. What’s most surprising to me is that this seems to be the first many have heard about it; where have you been? Thousands of kids, boys and girls, have had their lives ruined by just such laws applied in just such a way and it’s been going on for years. It usually helps DA’s ‘win’ elections, not lose them.

  25. Liam L says:

    It’s interesting how a three year different causes everyone to bitch and scream when they’re young but still able to think coherently, but nobody does when they’re old and able to think coherently. Think what you will, but I’m 31, and my husband is 21. My parents had an 8 year difference, and lived happily until death, for 32 years. I know many many people of the same ilk. Obviously they’re too young to get married, and I’m not sure I agree with sexual experiences at such a young age – But to say an 18 year old knew better, and a 15 year old didn’t, is a little stupid. I’m fairly sure they were both fully aware. Not all kids are bum-fuck stupid, just the ones who were raised by dumb ass parents. Our kids are fastly approaching our level, and they’re not even 13 yet. Maybe this is a perspective from someone who has had different experiences in the world, and maybe others are jaded for the same reason. Maybe I’m the one who’s jaded. Who knows. All I know is, this is all blown way out of proportion, and it’s completely unnecessary. But hey.. that’s ‘Murica.

    • I agree, my husband and I have a 3 year age difference. My maternal grandparents had a 5 year age difference and were happily married for 61 years. One of my close friends is 8 years older than her husband- we’re both 31 so he was barely legal when they met.

      It’s a 3 year age difference, and if the parents actually gave a damn their daughter wouldn’t have run away to live with her girlfriend. It’s the parents being bitter over the whole ordeal.

  26. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Give this view a chance …… See? It’s not “black or white”!! It’s “gray” …. changes are needed!!!

  27. Thank you!! Thank you for this beautifully written letter with your thoughtful, fair, and firm viewpoints. I’ve wanted to write a response to this case but have been too fired up to write rationally and fairly. I want to tear these parents a new one. I am overwhelmed with judgement and opinons towards them and their actions, and that is not the right place to be in to present a different side of their case, as you so eloquently did.

    Like you, when I saw this case, I reeled back in shock and disgust. I am currently in a situation with my parents where they are going to extremes and creating a mountain out of a molehill as well. They would rather be “right” than “happy” and in turn, have lost a relationship with me, their daughter. I can’t wrap my brain around their actions and their thought processes, just like I cannot wrap my brain around this girl’s parents’ decisions. It just doesn’t make SENSE. How they could do this to their daughter is beyond me. Perpetuating negativity and hate towards your own daughter? Alienating her? Sending her messages that she is a monster? How? Why?

    They have turned the goodness of love, and the beauty of a first love, on its head. They act out of hate instead of love and understanding. That is the saddest part of this case. I don’t see how they could genuinely love their daughter when they are acting towards her in this way. Some may say “This is being done out of love.” I say I’ve never known a love like this. Love is not hateful and nasty, nor is it conditional. Their actions and messages says “I will love my daughter if she is straight, and hate her if she is a lesbian.” I personally suspect they are lashing out their hatred towards their daughter onto the girl they are prosecuting. It is obvious to me their love is very conditional, and my heart breaks for her. I know what it feels like to have the CONDITIONAL love of a parent, and it is devastating. I cannot see their daughter forgiving them for this. If she does, she is a better person than I would be. It would take me YEARS, and I still don’t think I would ever be able to look at my parents with respect, admiration, or honor ever again.

    You said it perfectly when you asked, “How can this end well?” If you pursue it as you intend, and you win, will you have created misery for all involved, including yourselves?” You went on to say, “Your daughter will have to wade through the quagmire of resentment toward you and how you demolished the tenderness of her first love.” From one writer to another, BEAUTIFULLY said and you are SO RIGHT! Their relationship with their daughter will never be the same again. In fact, I am curious if they will ever heal. The actions of these parents is appalling and devastating, not only to the people involved, but also to the teen community, the gay and lesbian community, and the parent community. This is NOT a step towards the betterment of humanity.

    I PRAY they drop the charges and spare everyone involved further hurt and heartbreak. Thank you for speaking out and composing such a wonderful letter! I hope they listen to you.

  28. Sarah Spicer says:

    Thank you!! Thank you for this beautifully written letter with your thoughtful, fair, and firm viewpoints. I’ve wanted to write a response to this case but have been too fired up to write rationally and fairly. I want to tear these parents a new one. I am overwhelmed with judgement and opinons towards them and their actions, and that is not the right place to be in to present a different side of their case, as you so eloquently did.

    Like you, when I saw this case, I reeled back in shock and disgust. I am currently in a situation with my parents where they are going to extremes and creating a mountain out of a molehill as well. They would rather be “right” than “happy” and in turn, have lost a relationship with me, their daughter. I can’t wrap my brain around their actions and their thought processes, just like I cannot wrap my brain around this girl’s parents’ decisions. It just doesn’t make SENSE. How they could do this to their daughter is beyond me. Perpetuating negativity and hate towards your own daughter? Alienating her? Sending her messages that she is a monster? How? Why?

    They have turned the goodness of love, and the beauty of a first love, on its head. They act out of hate instead of love and understanding. That is the saddest part of this case. I don’t see how they could genuinely love their daughter when they are acting towards her in this way. Some may say “This is being done out of love.” I say I’ve never known a love like this. Love is not hateful and nasty, nor is it conditional. Their actions and messages says “I will love my daughter if she is straight, and hate her if she is a lesbian.” I personally suspect they are lashing out their hatred towards their daughter onto the girl they are prosecuting. It is obvious to me their love is very conditional, and my heart breaks for her. I know what it feels like to have the CONDITIONAL love of a parent, and it is devastating. I cannot see their daughter forgiving them for this. If she does, she is a better person than I would be. It would take me YEARS, and I still don’t think I would ever be able to look at my parents with respect, admiration, or honor ever again.

    You said it perfectly when you asked, “How can this end well?” If you pursue it as you intend, and you win, will you have created misery for all involved, including yourselves?” You went on to say, “Your daughter will have to wade through the quagmire of resentment toward you and how you demolished the tenderness of her first love.” From one writer to another, BEAUTIFULLY said and you are SO RIGHT! Their relationship with their daughter will never be the same again. In fact, I am curious if they will ever heal. The actions of these parents is appalling and devastating, not only to the people involved, but also to the teen community, the gay and lesbian community, and the parent community. This is NOT a step towards the betterment of humanity.

    I PRAY they drop the charges and spare everyone involved further hurt and heartbreak. Thank you for speaking out and composing such a wonderful letter! I hope they listen to you.

  29. While that letter is heartfelt and sincere, I think you missed why the “other” parents had Kaitlyn arrested; it was because of bigotry. I donated to their (Kaitlyn’s) legal cause hoping for the best, because to be honest, what is being done here punishes love and that of consent. I was part of the Facebook “Free Kate” page and their parent repeated explained the reasons why she was arrested, and it is because of bigotry. Unless everyone reads the what really happened, the internet is going to portray a great deal of misconceptions and I have been reading them here. Anyway, your message is great and a needed exchange.

    You can read a bit of the issue here:
    http://chn.ge/17Reesy

  30. Warui says:

    One of my neibors is a registered pedophile because he was 19 and dated a 16 yr old girl, wth should it be different if they are both girl???

    • litprof says:

      It shouldn’t be different: it shouldn’t be considered a crime in either case. That’s part of the point here. Society tries to rein in teenage sexuality with strict laws that have no basis in reality. You can’t just draw a line with a marker and say, for example, “On this day, when this person is 15 years and 364 days old, sex is illegal, but one day later, it’s fine.” That’s totally arbitrary. Similarly, saying “When these two people are 17 and engage in sexual activity, no one is at fault, but when one turns 18, suddenly he or she is a predator” is absurd.

      I’ve seen teenage couples in which the younger person is the more mature and the “alpha” in the relationship, including initiating sex.

    • Heather says:

      no it should not have been that way for him either that is what we are fighting for!!

      • LetParentsBeTheFreakingParents says:

        Fighting??? You’re bitch about it online, getting nothing done. Go talk to a representative about it. Its the law. If you start bending laws based off emotion you create loopholes.

    • Matthew says:

      I find that to be just as ludicrous as the example above unless malicious intent can be proven.

  31. Taylor says:

    Thank you so much. I was once a 15 year old girl in love (and sleeping with) an 18-year old girl. I went with her to prom, I saw her graduate, and then she went off to college and I started dating someone my own age, as did she. These relationships often just end naturally, like most teenage romances do. People grow up and grow apart. 4 years is a big age difference to a teenager, a freshman and a senior (anyone who went to high school knows how very different those two groups of people are). But nothing makes a teenager dig in their heels faster than demanding, controlling parents who insist the relationship must end, now, on the parents’ terms. After that, you’re star-crossed lovers and that’s romance at its very-best, right? Especially when you’re 14. This poor 14 year old girl is probably already so confused about life, love, her sexuality, her adult relationship, and the obvious war-like state between her and her parents. Now, everyone in America knows her story and I’m sure everyone in her town/high-school knows the story is about her.
    You’re a wonderful voice to speak out in a time like this because you are a successful adult with a family. I’m sure the biggest problem for these parents is the gender of their daughter’s love. That is, almost certainly, why this case is national news. I was so moved and happy to read your article and the letter therein. I’m so excited to live in the time we do- ten years ago I could never have imagined that marriage equality would be winning hands-down and that the Bush-era bigots would be complaining about becoming a ridiculed minority. Most of all, I’m thrilled to join the wave of support that is building behind these two girls, and I’m happy to see that you are, too.
    Thanks again for your kind and, most important, reasonable words.

  32. Kevin says:

    I think (to me) the most powerful part of this letter is, “Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?” Laws are not made to avenge wrongs done, but to keep criminals off our streets. Using them like this, as a tool of vengeance… I cannot see any happiness coming out of it, for anyone involved. Least of all the daughter they’re trying to protect.

    Beyond that, it’s just absolutely silly that we have laws that say “ohp, this person just turned 18. Obviously, now they are an adult and have matured to an adult level. But yesterday, they were a kid and reacted to things like a kid.” Because that’s totally how maturity works. It totally uses the human convention of age and birthdays.

  33. Margaret Fisher says:

    Excellent and beautifully written response. And if the younger girl’s parents had an ounce of true morality and spirituality, hopefully they’d consider your advice. However, every bit of evidence has proven them to be narrow-minded and spiteful- never a good combination. The fact is the girls were involved *before* Kaitlyn turned eighteen, and both sets of parents knew about it. If the younger girls’ parents had such a `moral objection’ to their daughter having a same-sex relationship…they could do what parents have been doing for years and put their foot down- forbidding her from seeing the other girl until *she* turned eighteen and the matter would be legally out of their hands. But the fact that they waited until Kaitlyn turned eighteen and *then* pressed charges in a bid to ruin her future speaks volumes of their malice. I’d be truly interested in asking the prosecutors in this case if they intend to go through the girls’ high school and arrest and charge *every* eighteen year old attending school there dating a younger student. I’m betting the answer would be ‘no’…because that might reveal this as the witch hunt that it is. The law needs to be changed to take into account the *degree* of the age difference between the parties involved. The law was meant to protect children from being abused by predatory adults…*not* to ruin promising young lives just because one teenager turned eighteen and the parents of his/her significant other can’t stomach their choices in dating partner.

    • The good news is this: if they did know about the relationship prior to the defendant turning 18, that legally works in her favor. It doesn’t save anyone the heartache of charges and a trial, but it does help. However, many states have laws like this that apply not just to the older lover’s age, but to the age difference. So a 17 year old can be charged with statutory rape if the younger participant is 14 because of the 3-year age difference, not the elder’s actual age.
      In the end, this is a mess, and will likely destroy the family.

  34. keywestsusan says:

    There was recently a man who had been arrested for lying about his HIV status to his partner prior to engaging in sexual intercourse. His lawyer argued that under Florida law, sexual intercourse involves the penetration of a penis into a vagina; so the two men had not engaged in sexual intercourse as defined by law. The judge agreed, and the defendant was found not guilty. I wonder if the same defense might be applied for two women?

  35. Neil A says:

    The law appears to be a complete ass here. The couple were allowed to have a physical loving relationship for two years because they were both children, then the stroke of midnight turns one of them into a felon, and the physical side of their relationship has to be put on hold for a few years until the other one reaches majority. This was not an adult stalking a child, this was a calendar becoming a problem. So sad that legislators cannot yet come to understand the shortsightedness of their badly written laws,

  36. DJ Loggins says:

    Bless you for your superbly-written and poignant letter. It speaks to the truth of the matter. If they continue on the “legal” road they have chosen, as you said, their daughter will resent them for it possible for the rest of her days. If there was no force, no coercion, but only sincere feelings of the heart between these young women, then IN GOD’s NAME it should be Celebrated, not punished. “Love one another. Love is of GOD.” I pray that the parents of the younger girl will take things to heart, and do the RIGHT thing, even though it may not be the LEGAL thing. Either do the Right thing, and help restore the relationship not only between these two young women, but perhaps also between your daughter and yourself; or do the LEGAL thing and risk your daughter’s misery, sorrow and resentment for the rest of both your and her lives.
    Is féidir Dia an chuid is mógrá mhor, an + Athair, is am + Mhic, is an + Spioraid Naoimh, beannaich is choimeád thú, logh thú gach do olcann, is a tha bhairt thú a saol bás a.
    May God Almighty and Everloving, the + Father, and the + Son, and the + Holy Spirit, bless and keep you, forgive you all your sins, and bring you to Life Everlasting. Ameinn, and please pray for this unworthy servant of ar Tighearna.
    As always, I remain
    Yours in fraternal love and friendship, through and in service to ar Tighearna, Iosa, an Criosd
    Very Rev. + Bishop Daibhidh Loggins, COBA, ACOC, Chancellor of the Exarchate of Saints Brighid and Columcille, EOE

  37. Tracy says:

    Very well said, Lets all hope these parents will find it their hearts do do just what you have suggested, for the sake everyone involved!

  38. Bryt Tany says:

    I just want to say, I’ve had the same maturity level when I was 15. Now I’m 19. Yeah, some things have changed about me, but I was still mature and aware of things. I honestly think it depends on each individual person. So it frustrates me to think that an 18 year-old can be a sex offender when they have a only recently been a teenager..whether they are gay, straight, or bi. 18 is barely an adult guys!

    • captiosus says:

      18 is age of plurality whether you like it or not and it’s the PARENTS’ obligation to ensure their children understand the law as part of the entire process of preparing their children for adulthood.

      As I approached 18 – at which time I was still a Senior in high school and would be for another 5 months afterward – my parents made sure to inform me that I needed to be EXCEEDINGLY careful with my 16 year old girlfriend because I was now considered an adult under the law.

      As for being “frustrated” about the Sex Offender registry, the entire thing frustrates me because it shows we haven’t evolved very far from the days of Nathaniel Hawthorn’s “The Scarlet Letter”. I don’t even want to get into how I’ve seen threats of being “reported” (the implication being placed on the registry) used by overzealous parents to browbeat youth league coaches into submission.

  39. Lillia says:

    I don’t understand how they can prosecute, the age difference is only 4 years, and I thought the federal law was if the older person in a relationship is 18+ as long as the younger is no more then 4 years younger then its within the law, I mean I could be wrong, but when they started dating they were BOTH under 18, and that should count for something. I think the younger girls parents are doing this because they don’t like that their daughter is gay. And that is just wrong

    • Kerry says:

      Real easy, the state law says if you are over 18 and have sexual contact with a minor you have broken the law. Federal law has nothing to do with this and I doubt there even is a federal law on age of consent.

  40. Ted Lytle says:

    As a single dad, myself having raised a son and a daughter, that was beautiful! You shared my sentiments and I could not have written it better. I hope and pray that it is well received.

  41. Everyone here is talking about law, statutory rape, what is “right” or wrong. I ask one very simple question that no one seems to have considered.

    WHAT ABOUT LOVE?

  42. Kerry says:

    This has nothing to do with Kaitlyn being gay, if it was an 18 year old male and a 14 yr old female I can guarantee that he would be going to jail and facing not just unlawful sex with a minor charges but more than likely child molestation charges. Both of my sons are gay and so I am not trying to defend anyone. Did the parents report it because their daughter was in a homosexual relationship, who knows maybe they would have done the same if Kaitlyn was a male and turned 18 and was in a relationship with their daughter. Point being if you are 18 and in a relationship with anyone under the age of consent in your state, or any state you visit, you face the possibility of going to prison, being labeled a sex offender and having your life ruined so you better make sure you know what you are doing and be prepared for any consequences. These type of laws, age of consent laws, are there to protect our children from predators because in case you were not aware most pedophiles do not forcibly rape their victims they gain their trust and manipulate them. A lot of victims believe they are “in love” or that it is consensual. So would it be okay if Kaitlyn was 21? 25? 30? So what they were in a relationship for 2 years, a 12 year old really is not old enough to make those types of decisions and a 16 year old really should not be with a 12 year old anyway. If it was a 16 year old boy and your 12 year old daughter would you be okay with it? Did not think so.

    • Rene n Tessa says:

      don’t you think a dycotomy is present, it’s has been reported they have been with each other for 2 years. what the day before her 18th birthday she is to break up with her? This didn’t happen overnight, why didnt the parents see and seek understanding and advise?
      Kaitlin isnt a sexual preditore and had no intent of malice, The parents are desperatly grasping at control, possibly the last bit of control they see. What they do not see is in this pretence cloke of saying”protecting her” they will force her into mis trust, resentment and fear of who she is, this wont end well and the control they seem to think is all under their control will sprial and forever change them and these two girls. at 14.15.16.17 18 and beyond do we understand the consequences of what the law is trying to interput, or do we follow our hearts? I followed my heart, it wasnt until my late 20’s I started to follow the laws of exspectations of society, when I was jaded bitter, and mis trust. I wish more of us in our adult lives would remember when love and passion and following your heart was most important, Then we might be a kinder place on earth

      • Kerry says:

        Actually https://www.facebook.com/groups/FreeKate/ says they met beginning of current school year (as in August 2012), subsequently started dating, was found out by a sports coach who reported to the other girls parents who then contacted police shortly there after. So the reports saying they had been dating for 2+ years are wrong as the site referenced is from Kaitlyn’s parents.

        Follow your heart all you want, still have to follow the law or face the consequences.

    • Chelsey says:

      No.. It wouldn’t be the same if Kate were 21, 25, or 30. The point is that they’re high school peers and children will be children. Over half of all high schoolers are doing exactly what those two did and it was consensual.. Kate meant no harm, and if they are legally allowed to talk to each other, play basketball together, eat lunch in the same room – then how are they expected to be limited on something else? Its completely absurd and downright sending the youths of our county mixed messages. If she were 25 that would be different.. They would not be peers, or expected to partake in activities together and she would be out of school; knowingly doing what is unnatural. They’re both still children though even though Kate is a ‘legal’ adult. She still lives under her parents roof, doesn’t support herself; that’s not an adult. And therefore shouldn’t be penalized as one. Note: nowhere in my debate did I mention the gender or orientation of the couple. That is completely irrelevant (except for the fact that the other girls parents took action solely out of bigotry and ignorance towards their daughter potentially being gay.)

      • Kerry says:

        Ok, what if Kaitlyn was 19 and still in high school, that happens a lot now, would that be ok? Now say that Kaitlyn was 19 or 20 (she flunked a couple of times, not likely I understand) had her own apartment and supported herself completely but still was in high school would it still be ok? My point is the law has to be absolute or it can be manipulated very easily by those so inclined.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          it was calculating and hateful for the parents to deliberately wait until the one girl turned 18, then be sneaky and use the law to force something on their daughter. They SPECIFICALLY waited until after Kaitlyn turned 18. That is calculating and hateful. If this were a boy and a girl, I can promise you that this would not be happening. If the parents continue to pursue this matter, there is a VERY high probability that their daughter will resent them for the rest of their lives. It WOULD be different, if Kaitlyn was 18 BEFORE they started seeing each other and being intimate. Such is NOT the case. Should LOVE be stopped just because one person turns 18? GOD would NEVER approve, nor would Christ.

          • Kerry says:

            Actually read the response from robw77 and you will see that what you say would make a difference is exactly what happened according to the police report that has been published. So now how do you respond?

          • DJ Loggins says:

            In most states, since the relationship started before either was of legal age, the Romeo and Juliet rules would apply if they were a male/female couple. Since this is a same-gender couple, those ideals are being thrown aside. This IS all about sexual orientation. And that can no more be SUCCESSFULLY changed than you could change the blood in your body from red to green and still survive. Anyone who claims that sexuaL orientation can successfully be changed is quoting lies and misinformation, and when substantive research is done, those who claim they have “changed”, are in actually miserable because they are having to repress who God has made them to be, primarily for the benefit of social or familial requirements and obligations.

          • Kerry says:

            Is there a Romeo & Juliet law in Florida? I doubt it, I know there isn’t one in California. I agree 100% that if she could not be prosecuted if it was an opposite sex relationship she should not be able to be prosecuted just because it is a same sex relationship, however I doubt that is the case. In California it does not matter if the relationship began prior to 18 or if there was sex prior to 18, only if there is sex after 18. Technically charges could be brought against both if they were both under 18 as neither is able to consent legally, but that is not going to happen.

      • Chelsey says:

        Honestly Kerry… Nope the scenario you described wouldn’t be okay. 19 year olds do attend high school these days, depending on when their birthdays fall and I would stand behind my opinion but when the older children DO live on their own etc that leaves the situation open to interpretation. (But that’s not the case.) These laws are in place for protection against criminals. Not young, bright, and high achieving children that make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow as people and if you think this girl should be prosecuted that’s just disgraceful (my own opinion of course) because that felony and sexual offender listing is going to ruin her entire life over something that was consensual and quite frankly none of the other girl’s parents business. Did she call them before she had sex to ask permission? Hello no… She’s plenty old enough to make decisions and stand by them which she still to this day does. Yes, the law is the law but if it were not open to interpretation then we wouldn’t have the right to a fair trial, the right to speak and defend ourselves. And we wouldn’t have the option to be found ‘not guilty’ of an accusation.

        • Kerry says:

          See but that is the problem, what difference should it make if they live on their own? What would stop the 19 year old living on their own from claiming they lived with parents if they were charged? You can not make laws subject to individual circumstances. First of all it would be unconstitutional and it would make it impossible to determine if someone had broken the law as it is very easy to manipulate the appearance of ones circumstances.

          Do I agree with what the parents did? No I do not. But the law is the law and she broke it. It really is that simple.

    • Cathy says:

      Actually it has everything to do with her being gay. Apparently you haven’t done too much research on this. Do that before you open your mouth next time.

      • Kerry says:

        Her being prosecuted by the state for committing a crime has nothing to do with her being gay, the parents motivation is likely related but if it was a drug dealing 18 year old guy they would do the same thing probably, they do not approve of the relationship, the relationship broke local laws, they reported it, but she broke the law, deal with it. The same criminal charges are filed against heterosexual couples all of the time. If you are over 18 and in a relationship with a minor you better make sure the parents do not have an issue with your relationship or you can end up facing these type of charges.

        Reading comprehension is key here, I stated the prosecution had nothing to do with her being gay, it is a given that if you brake the law and are reported you will be prosecuted. The motivation for the reporting is likely that it was a gay relationship, but not the prosecution. The same thing happens all the time when a parent does not approve of relationships and the guy is over 18 and the girl isn’t. So learn to not only read but to comprehend what you are reading before you reply next time.

    • It has everything to do with her being gay. If it didn’t the parents of the 14 year old would not be slinging around quotes about how Kaitlyn turned their daughter gay. If it didn’t matter why bring it up?

      So don’t feed as a bunch of bullshit.

      • Kerry says:

        Her being prosecuted by the state for committing a crime has nothing to do with her being gay, the parents motivation is likely related but if it was a drug dealing 18 year old guy they would do the same thing probably, they do not approve of the relationship, the relationship broke local laws, they reported it, but she broke the law, deal with it. The same criminal charges are filed against heterosexual couples all of the time. If you are over 18 and in a relationship with a minor you better make sure the parents do not have an issue with your relationship or you can end up facing these type of charges.

        • DJ Loggins says:

          She was NOT 18 when the relationship began and the girls were first intimate.

          • Kerry says:

            She was over 18 when they were first intimate according to the police report, but that is irrelevant. Does not matter when relationship began or when they were first intimate, if they were intimate after she turned 18 she broke the law. Do you not understand that? Does not matter if you think the law is wrong, unfair, stupid or anything else. You cannot just choose what laws you obey and expect not to be prosecuted for breaking those you do not agree with.

      • Kerry says:

        DJ Loggins according to the police report yes she was 18 when they were first intimate. They first met beginning of school year and she turned 18 in August.

      • Chelsey says:

        Read the report again. She was 17 and the other girl 14 when they were first intimate. She turned 18 after, then they were intimate more times. Now, the other girl is 15 and still fully consenting. I understand that it is not the place of parents to befriend their children but scarring (including nationwide airing of dirty laundry, privacies and intimates,) disorienting, and PURPOSELY making them
        unhappy and or depressed isn’t good or supportive parenting either. They’re carelessly ruining more than one life. Their daughter will never recover from this kind publicity.

  43. Clyde day says:

    I think you all need to put yourself in the situation. You keep saying it is clear cut shes 18, and she is 16. No they were in a relationship, and she had a birthday. It is not like she was 18, and met a 16 years old, (oh and I love how you point out shes 18, OH! and the other girl was 15, and then later you say 14 trying to make it younger, and younger). Ms Rice was talking about if say the captain of the football team was dating a 16 years old these parents, and all others wouldn’t say a thing about it. they would simply say all sexual activity would have to stop till both are 18, but this is NOT the case. The parents of the girl are hateful bigots, and are hell bent on destroying (the big gay monster) they see as attacking their beliefs. I would agree with you if an 18 year old met this girl, and it started, but this relationship was going on long before her 18th birthday. I do agree that this is a horrible situation all around, but it is what it is. This is a blurred line, and it is worse when you bring hate, and bigotry into it.

    • robw77 says:

      Hi Clyde- If you link through to the LGBTQ Nation information the timeline of the information is this: The girls met when they were 14 and 17. Kaitlyn turned 18 last August; sexual activity occurred after she was 18 and CS was still 14 (The link to the arrest report is embarrassingly graphic in detail) ; CS is now 15. CS’s parents reported this well after Kaitlyn’s birthday (according to the article). I am not assigning judgement on any of that, but from the documentation, that is the actual timeline. It is complicated, and the laws expect kids to navigate this as if it were simple. I agree with you that hate and bigotry make it even worse.

      • Taylor says:

        You are kidding me. These poor girls have all of their privacy hanging out like the wash. This is going to seriously impact their lives for a long time. I’m sure everyone they know has read it. How sad and horrible- and the worst part is, C.S. still has to live in that house with those people. THEY are the abusive ones.

  44. avid says:

    Good job agree there are many facets to this case. I think expulsion and arrested is a knee jerk reaction and will be detrimental to all involved. i hope the parents can stop take a breathe and examine it and come to a more temperate/constructive solution. Here is hoping and praying for a better result.

  45. jennifer collins says:

    Amazingly written letter…hope it is well received

  46. Your letter is beautifully and compassionately written (as is everything that you write) and I sincerely hope it starts conversations across the nation.

    I fear, however, that there is more to this story. Parents disapprove of their children’s relationships all the time but rarely involve the law. I wonder if these parents are suitably motivated or if they’re simply off their rockers.

    • Chris says:

      I live in Florida and I remember one of my friends being threatened with the law by his father’s boyfriend when he turned 18, after they had been together almost 2 years. I wish I could say he was the only LGBT friend that had the specter of an intolerant parent getting litigious to keep their child away from the dreaded gay agenda. This is the South; this is how they roll. It’s unfortunate, but it’s very likely that these are intolerant parents and that’s all there is to it. Thank you for your great letter to the parents.

  47. rachel buffington says:

    I do not understand the crime that has been committed. According to society, intercourse is when a female is penetrated. Also, according to society, that is impossible for a female to do to another female. If love is really a crime, then everyone that is in love should go to jail. I understand the one girls parents being upset that their daughter is a lesbian. I really do. My parents disowned me for that exact reason. But why ruin the other girls life and tarnish her name for simply loving another female? This is chaotic and absurd. I really hope the parents of C.S change their minds and decide a different, less dramatic course of action.

    • Jessica Burde says:

      Rachel, the crime is that Rachel is an adult and C.S. is technically underage. So it falls under the technical and legal definition of sex with a minor or statuatory rape. In many states this would not be a crime – for instanc emany states have a graduated age of consent, where it is legal for teens to have sex with other teens and within 5 years of their own age, and then the full age of consent when they can have sex with anyone comes when they are 18. In a state with that type of age of consent law, this would not be illegal.

      Florida apparently has an age of consent law where it is illegal for anyone over the age of 18 to have sex with anyone under the age of 18. FWIW, i grew up in NJ, and distinctly remember my parents telling me when I was 17 that it would be illegal for my 18 year old boyfriend and I to have sex and they would file charges against him if we did.

      This isn’t just an issue of bigots, but an issue of the messed up way our legal system handles teen sex and the way bigoted parents are using the legal system to punish their daughter and her lover. While not universally true, my understanding is that these types of cases are usually not pursued unless the younger teen says they were forced or the parents are pressuring the legal system to take action.

      • Except part of the reason is because they are bigots. They blame the other young woman for turning their daughter gay. They could very easily just ignore it because as the letter also states, the 15 year old left the home because her parents were upset that she was a lesbian.

        I grew up in NY where the age of consent is 15 or 16, but as I understand it 18 is still statutory rape

      • rachel says:

        i was being facetious when i said i did not understand what the crime was. this is just a very devastating situation for both girls. i doubt the younger teen said she was forced. the girls had been together for 2 years prior. why would she wait to say she was forced? though i do not rule that out. from the actions of the parents, it is very possible that the younger teen could very well be just as vindictive and wanted to get the other in trouble. who knows the real depth of the story. i just find it absurd that legal action is being taken against a female that just wants to love and be loved in return. and to make her be labeled as a sex offender????? seriously???? this is all insane. what good could possibly come out of all that??? want her to leave your daughter alone. get a restraining order. do not get her charged with a felony and a life long label that could very well ruin any and all chances of any jobs involving children or any decent job. think rationally on this. FYI, Jessica, this reply was not meant as an attack to you. these parents are just taking things way out of hand and it angers me a great deal.

  48. Beautifully written. You are an awesome dad and human being.

  49. LAW says:

    Thank you for saying this so very well and sharing your empathy as a parent. I hope the parents you’re addressing will listen.

  50. Teri Boots says:

    I applaud your letter. I am a mother of a lesbian daughter. While she was in high school, she came out. One girl she had a relationship was almost her undoing. The girls’ family believed my daughter, turned her daughter gay. The fact was, their daughter asked mine out. It was a very turbulous relationship from the start. They broke up, they got back together several times. It shook my daughter’s confidence. The family wanted to have my daughter arrested but didn’t have the grounds to do it.
    In Kaitlyn’s case, yes, according to the law, she had relations with a minor, but the other girls parents were okay with them being together until Kaitlyn turned 18. Now, it’s a problem. It is my hope that C.S.’s parents see the truth of what they are going to do to both girls, to their family and to everyone’s future. If they honestly don’t want the girls together, fine, drop the charges, and make it part of the deal. “We drop the charges and you two stay away from each other”. It’s sad, but at least it has a happier outcome than Kaitlyn going to jail, being labeled a sex offender and their daughter running away often.

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